Camera Shy (Lessons in Love, #1)

by Kay Cove

But what happens when sex no longer feels like connecting?

She cocks one eyebrow. “How do I put this delicately?” Rolling her wrist, she says, “I want that man to wear me like a condom that’s one size too small and let me choke the life out of his dick.”

Because I love when my hunches are right. I knew you were pretty.

“Apologizing about your body is ridiculous. Please don’t ever do that for me or for anyone else, okay?”

“Avery, no offense, but I don’t give a fuck about your friend. I’m hitting on you. Am I not being clear enough?”

I am shattered. I am humiliated. My ego isn’t wounded—it’s completely gone. I am never getting naked in front of another man again. I am never sharing my body with another man ever again. Especially not with a man who looks like he fucks like a porn star.”

“Men need to be more careful with the women they love.” He tilts his head, his expression full of pity. “They have no idea the damage they can do.”

“I technically did ask a question, but here’s how the next five minutes are going to go. You’re not going to speak. I’m going to talk to you. I’m going to strip you down and point out all the things I love about your body. For five minutes, you are going to just enjoy a man, who you think fucks like a porn star, worshiping you. How’s that sound?”

“But you’re moving at a snail’s pace.” I wish he’d just undress me already. Rip it off, like a Band-Aid. Maybe it’ll be less painful that way. “Yeah, Avery. That’s what you do when you’re savoring something…”

One, Finn is very good at this. He’s overwhelmingly sensual. He’s taking my literal worst nightmare and somehow making it sexy. Enjoyable, even.

Three, and probably the most shocking revelation is… Finn likes this. This man must be desperate, blind, or high as a kite, because he’s looking at me like I’m the first woman he’s ever laid eyes on. Like I’m a prize he’s won.

Thank God you’re not a client, Avery. These tits would make me act unprofessional in the studio. We wouldn’t want that, would we?”

“Avery, listen to me. You’re beautiful. You’re worthy. Don’t you dare let any man treat you like garbage. Don’t let any man tell you you’re lacking. If he doesn’t see you as sexy, he’s not using his eyes.” He hooks his finger around my chin and guides my view so I’m looking into my own eyes. “But confidence starts with you. A man is going to treat you how you treat yourself. So please, for the love of God, act like a fucking queen.”

Never once has that scenario been sexual…until last night.

She needed a man she was attracted to, to tell her she was fuckable. More than fuckable. She needed me to see her naked and want her. Approve of her. Praise her. So I did.

Oh, hell. I think I really like her. Fuck.

Avery doesn’t need lessons. She needs a man who’s willing to give it to her rough and dirty. She just wants to feel wild…and wanted.

“That you come harder when your girl comes first. That’s real power.”

“The big mirror.” Finn tightens his grip around my hand. “I want you to see everything I’m about to do to you.”

Let-down Lucas. Quick-to-come Cameron. And last, but not least…mundane Mason.

“No, baby, that’s a lie. That’s not where you want them. You want me to eat your pussy like I’m starving, don’t you?”

“If a man doesn’t give, he doesn’t get. End of story. Don’t waste your time on selfish assholes.”

“This is my pleasure to do, Queen.” Oh dear God.

“You just haven’t seen my dark side. Yet. I’m taking you to a really nice restaurant, and I’m going to pick up the tab. Then, when we get home, I’m going to make you earn your meal.”

“Spread your legs, Avery. I’ve been a gentleman all night. It’s time for my reward.”

“Open the door, Avery, and take your dress off. It’s time for class.”

You’re going to wear my cock like a glove, and no man will compare for the rest of your life.”

“I fucking love how it feels. If you want to enjoy your sex life, you have to stop apologizing for your body. It’s beautiful. Exactly what I like. Your ex couldn’t handle it, so he didn’t deserve it.”

You should be earned every day of your life. Don’t ever let any man make you question that.”

“Real beauty isn’t loud and demanding. It’s subtle.” I tuck a loose strand of her rich, dark hair behind her ear. “Men look past you because you represent what they’re scared of. Palmer’s the kind of attractive you enjoy for the night. You have the kind of beauty you worship for a lifetime.”

“Avery, right now you have a man between your legs who will try whatever you want. More than that, I would be delighted to give you whatever you ask for. So be a queen, baby. Tell me what to do. I’m at your command. Look at me.”

“I’m good with it. Consider me your toy.” He opens his legs into a wide V, as unsubtly as possible. “Play with me.”

“Your body type is damn lucky. Blessed in all the right places.” He traces an hourglass figure in the air with his hands. “Natural and tender and soft. Your body makes me want to curl up next to it, day in and day out. I don’t know what type I’d call it—just know that it’s my favorite type.”

Good. It’s not just me. I hope the idea of me with another woman makes her sick, because I’d be willing to rip another man to shreds right now.

“And another lesson for you, Queen. Say no every now and then. Just because you can. Make him wait. Make him work for it. It’ll make a man fucking feral for you.”

“And you’re mine,” I add. Hooking my finger under her chin the way I’ve done a dozen times by now, I rub my thumb across her cheek soothingly. “I take really good care of what’s mine, Avery. I promise you.”

“You…are…overwhelming, Finn. I never stood a chance.”

“I’m serious. With clothes, without. You’re so beautiful, Avery. My heart is sore from pounding so hard for you.”

“I didn’t spend this summer preparing you for any man except me.” I’m trying to play a part, but my words are true. “You’re mine. This pussy is molded to me. It’s mine now too. No man is ever going to satisfy you like I do.”

“Next time you have a dirty dream about me, roll over and wake me up. And I’ll show you how much better I can do it in real life. You hear me?”

“I need you to start falling in love with me now, Avery.” In love?

“I’m halfway there, and I don’t want to be alone at the finish line,” Finn continues.

“Your lips are starting to feel like home.” “Mm,” I moan. I couldn’t have said it better myself. “Well, come home, then, Queen.”

“But I’m going to be okay because once I cut the dead weight, I’m going to feel free and happy. For you, however, I hope the anchor of shame, guilt, and loneliness drags you to the bottom of the ocean so you can drown in how pathetic you are.”