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Alexandra and Graham were having a baby. Together. My baby sister. And my ex-husband.
I took advantage of her distraction and took the rest of the giant cookie away. My girl was sharp, though, and immediately shrieked while violently pushing her fingertips together, the sign for “more.”
My baby girl wasn’t used to being held by anyone but me. It had even taken time for her to warm up to my mom, who was an absolute pro. As I watched this easy interaction, I couldn’t help but feel slightly betrayed. That emotion vanished quickly, though, when I took a moment to really look at the two of them.
“She signs,” I explained to Vic. “This one.” I demonstrated the first sign she’d given me. “Is for cereal, or any kind of finger food. She’s not picky.” “That’s incredible.” Vic’s whole face was lit up. “Is she some kind of baby genius?” A chuckle escaped me, and maybe my chest puffed up a little.
she’s telling you what she wants.” “Yup.” I put the box away and went back to my coffee. “I started signing to her at three months old, and she was signing back around eight months. I wanted to create a secure bond between us, and I hoped—I still do—that she’d feel confident that I could meet her needs.”
“Do you think Chris Evans is free? You need a hot date.” A hiccup of a laugh escaped me. “He just got married.” “Aw, fuck. I was holding out hope he’d drive up from Massachusetts, fall in love with you, and then introduce me to Robert Downey Jr.”
The way we speak to ourselves matters. If you’re walking around thinking you deserved to be treated so badly or that you caused it in some way, then I’ll make it my mission to correct you. Because you’re dead fucking wrong.”
For a long moment, I stood in that place, catching my breath. When the tears had stopped, I carefully made my way back to where Noah was standing with Tess. He was beaming. “That’s my girl,” he said softly as I approached.
Becca nudged me with a pointy elbow. “See? You, too, could have a lumberjack to attend to all your needs. First, you have to get your head out of your ass, then you jump Noah.” Hands flat on the plush rug on either side of me, I rolled my eyes. “We’re just friends. Also, he’s a firefighter, not a lumberjack.” Alice dropped to the floor next to me. “Lumberjack is not a vocation.” She giggled. “It’s a state of being.”
“He looks like that.” Lou gestured to me, almost hitting Alexandra with her cane—likely on purpose. “And he’s a hero?” She put her hand over her heart. “Swoon. My Victoria’s taste has improved so much since she moved north.” She shot a glare in Graham’s direction.
With a groan, I pulled her closer. Instantly, her fingers were in my hair, her arms around my neck. Fuck. This was a mistake. It felt too easy. Too natural and too damn hot. Very hot. Weirdly hot.
Last night, before his lips had touched mine, I’d been spiraling into a panic. The contact had grounded me. Pulled me out of the shame vortex that consumed me every time my mother and sisters were near.
“And I’m spiraling.” One fat tear rolled down her cheek, quickly followed by another and another. I almost drove off the road. The sight gutted me and sent my mind spinning. What could I do to make it better? How could I make her laugh and smile again? “That was so painful.” Her voice was smaller than I’d ever heard it.
“He’s an excellent boyfriend,” Lou added from the back seat. Vic cracked a teary smile. “Yes. You performed perfectly. Polite, smart, and sexy as hell in a tux.” My heart stumbled. Oh shit. That was new information. In my periphery, she turned to look out the windshield, her cheeks flushing. She thought I was sexy? Interesting. Irrelevant, but interesting, nonetheless.
My knee-jerk reaction was to say yes. To say I’ll pretend to be your fake boyfriend forever. Please keep smiling and never cry again. But I hated lying. And I’d come back to Lovewell to rebuild trust with my family.
Behind me, Lou cleared her throat. “Here’s a wild idea. What if the two of you actually dated? You’d fall in love and live happily ever after. That would be a real fuck-you to your mother.”
“the best way to heal is to date a wonderful man who makes you happy. Not Noah, of course. Since you two aren’t interested in one another.” She eyed me in the rearview mirror and gave me a wink. “But we can find someone else. You’re wonderful. Once the town knows you’re on the market, there will be hotties lining up for a chance with you.” I gripped the steering wheel, making the leather creak beneath my hands.
The thought of losing her created a pit in my gut. And the idea of some other bozo getting a chance with her sent anger coursing through my veins.
Straightening, she examined me, the hope emanating from her breaking my heart. “I promise I won’t ask too much of you.” That was the thing. She could ask whatever she wanted of me. She should ask more of others. Demand more and better. She didn’t have to make herself small or minimize her needs.
As she wiped her tears with the sleeve of her sweatshirt, she squeezed my biceps firmly. I may have flexed a bit. Who could blame me? I’d landed my dream fake girlfriend. “Thank you.” “I’d like the record to reflect that I think this is a terrible idea,” Lou chimed in.
“Mark my words: by the end of the summer, you’ll either fall madly in love or hate each other’s guts.” My new fake girlfriend scoffed. “You watch too many movies.” “Kid, when you’ve lived as long as I have, you learn things. And this”—she pointed from Vic to me, then rubbed her hands together—“has the makings of an epic story.”
I love you and respect your choices. Even if those choices are baffling and misguided.” “Thank you,” Vic and I said in unison. “I’m gonna get ordained and officiate your wedding.” The comment sounded less like a prediction and more like a threat.
“I needed that.” He unlatched Tess, scooped her up, and kissed her cheek. “Yeah, I could feel your pent-up rage all the way from upstairs. I’m always down to help you work it out physically. All you have to do is ask.”
“Tess’s hair is growing.” He ducked his head. “I’ve mastered pigtails. You should have seen my first few attempts. My hands are so big.” With his hands held up, he gave me a sheepish grin. Yep, they definitely resembled bear paws. Wide and strong but with long, graceful fingers. “And the elastics are so small. It took forever to figure out how to get them in the right spots.”
His hands were clumsy, but he was so focused and gentle. The tenderness made my heart ache. “You’re a really good dad.” “Doesn’t feel that way.” Tess crawled into my lap now, getting snuggly and staring at the TV, where Moira Rose was wearing a platinum blond wig and a fur hat.
“Stop it.” “I can’t.” He shrugged, still gripping the top of the doorframe. The move caused his T-shirt to ride up and expose a strip of taut abdomen. “It’s involuntary. Like a muscle spasm. It’s my natural reaction when a hot woman yells at me. You’re lucky I don’t have a boner.”
“Never say boner in my presence again. What is wrong with you?” He chuckled. “Sass is a big turn-on for me.” “Stop talking about turn-ons.” I wanted to rip my hair out. “You’re my friend. I thought we promised to be honest with each other.”
“A victory celebration.” He pumped his fist dramatically. “I made you laugh. Usually, when you laugh, it’s at Schitt’s Creek or Tess. But today it was me. Even if I had to act like a complete idiot to pull it off, I feel like I accomplished something significant.” Significant? This man was so invested in making me laugh that he’d gone through all of that? My stomach flipped as I assessed him. “You make me work for it. It takes effort to earn your smiles and your laughter.”
“I know. I’m too serious. Too intense.” Frowning, he dropped to his knees in front of me. “You misunderstand me.” He wrapped his hands around my calves. “You may not be easy, but that doesn’t mean you’re not worth the work.”
Vic dropped into the seat beside me, and instantly, Tess squirmed in Jude’s arms, reaching over me. When my daughter was in the arms of the woman who was quickly becoming her favorite person and mine, she gave her a big, wet kiss on the cheek. I leaned over and did the same. Maybe it was over-the-top, but I couldn’t contain my pride.
This felt right. Being here with my girls and my town. I paused. My girls.
“She’s not maternal. Not mom material.” Noah clenched his fists. “Victoria Randolph is the kindest, most generous person I’ve ever met. Every day, I watch her interact with my child, and love her the way she deserves to be loved. I know in my bones that she has the biggest, most beautiful heart. There is no one I trust more, and my daughter is damn lucky to have her in her life.”
Noah, who had switched back into cuddly dad mode, was softly rocking Tess and wiping her mouth with a baby wipe. “You’re not a demon,” he said, with a kiss to the top of her head. “You’re a little hero.” He tossed the wipe into a nearby trashcan, then headed toward our building. “We’re going home to get you cleaned up. Then Daddy’s giving you extra treats for being such a super baby and defeating the bad guy.”
I kissed Tess’s forehead and smoothed down her unruly hair. “Sweet girl, I’m so sorry you’re sick.” “Ick,” she said, her cheeks red and little face forlorn. “I’m happy to see you too.” Tears welled in my eyes. I would do anything to help her feel better, especially after what she’d done for me yesterday. I loved this kid, and no matter what Graham said, I was devoted to her.
The tender concern on his face and the way that, even bone tired, he would do anything for this child cracked my heart in two. This man, a wall of muscle, ink, and chest hair, held this tiny baby like she was the most precious thing to ever exist. Her distress was causing him physical pain.
“I miss that version of myself. The man who can home in on what needs to be done rather than the kid with ADHD who didn’t read until third grade. When I’m coordinating a response, I’m sharp, and all the noise disappears. The world gets clear. And I’m good at it. Or at least I was.”
Heart pounding, I heaved in a breath. “That’s a good girl. Take what you want.” “What if I want all of you?” “Then take it,” I growled.
“We’ve been telling you for months to get back on the horse, and let me just say, that is one fine thoroughbred.”
“This is all part of the magic,” she explained. “Helping to repair the cracks in one another. Healing is a hell of a lot more fun with a supportive partner by your side.”
“Of course. You’ve got me wrapped around your finger. You know that, don’t you? I’m in too deep now. And that means I’ll build you all the chicken coops you want.” I leaned over, gently tickling her ribs. Which drove her crazy. “Or a pigpen.” “Or a goat barn.”
“Are you colluding with the other small-business owners?” She nodded, though she didn’t look up from her device as she tapped one long nail on the screen. “He’s lucky I let him walk in here after what he did to poor Victoria.” She shook her head. “Shoulda put ex-lax in his coffee.” Finn shot up straight. “Bernice.” She glared at him. “Finn Hebert, don’t you dare sass me. I’ll call your wife.”
“This was not your fault. It was a senseless tragedy, plain and simple. You are not responsible. You did nothing wrong.” She clasped my hand and squeezed it tight. “You’re doing exactly what they asked you to do. They knew if they had to leave her, she’d be loved by the best man they knew. They trusted you with the most precious thing they had.”
“They live every day through her. She is how they exist in this world. I promise you, they know how devoted you are to her, and because of that, they are at peace.” She didn’t look up, but she cupped my cheek and swiped at my tears with her thumb. “So please, please, stop blaming yourself. Stop punishing yourself. Because that child needs you at your best. And she deserves it.”
“You put the batteries back in.” Hands up, he took a step back. “I’m weak. She was so sad he didn’t talk anymore. You should have seen her face.” I nuzzled Tess, and she leaned into me. “One year old and already manipulating your dad. I don’t know whether to fear you or worship you as my queen.”
“God, you were made for me,” he said. I arched up, the sensations making me dizzy, my vision going spotty. “You are mine,” he said between kisses. “And I’m all yours. Anything you want. Take it. Everything I am, everything I have. Please, Vic. Let me be yours.” “Yes,” I cried, chasing my release. “I want it all.”
“If you’ve got too much on your plate already, I understand. But from what I’ve seen, you’re creative and motivated. I need help from someone like you in order to pull off the big plans I have for the inn.”
“When I moved back here so I could process my grief and put together a life for Tess, I never imagined I’d find a friend.” I grasped her hip and gave it a squeeze. “But to find you? A best friend and the love of my life all rolled into one person? It’s unfathomable.”
“You deserve everything. And I’ll spend the rest of my life showing you that. Our happily ever after might not be traditional, but it will be ours.”
“And you? You better hope you’re half the mother Vic is. She’s done nothing but nurture my daughter and show love, kindness, and devotion to her since the day we met. Caring for others is her superpower. She can’t bear the suffering of any child. Did you know that she doesn’t pay herself? She’s working her ass off for free so she can devote every penny to feeding hungry people. Tell me, what was the last selfless thing you did?”
Falling in love with Noah hadn’t been easy or convenient. But it was inevitable. We’d forged a bond that went so much deeper than anything I knew was possible. In the deepest recesses of my soul, I knew he was my person. My endgame. The life we built together would be messy and imperfect, but it would be full of love.
