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For everyone who has ever succeeded out of spite
“You don’t want to do that,” Ahyana said, and I braced my shoulders, expecting her to lecture me on the sanctity of life. “What you want to do is stab him in the gut so that he’ll bleed out slowly.” “Ahyana!” Zalira sounded scandalized.
“But embers mean that the fire is still there. It can be revived. You only have to breathe on them to bring them back to life. And the tiniest of embers can create the mightiest of flames.”
That spark was there. An ember still glowing with heat, waiting for a small puff of air to bring it back to life. My skin flamed up everywhere that he touched me.
By the goddess, he was a beautiful man. I forgot everything else and could only drink the sight of him in. He was so masculine, so magnificent. It was as if the goddess herself had designed him solely for my benefit, to appeal to me, to make me choke on my own desire for him. How could I loathe him so much and still want him? To want to see his blood spill from his neck but also want to take him into our bedroom and tie him to our bed, not letting him leave?
People didn’t tell you about that part of grief—how pieces of that person would slip away from you bit by bit until you had nothing left.
“Get away from my wife!” he roared.
He dropped his sword and came over to me, picking me up in his arms. I clung to him, shivering. Not only because I was cold and wet and naked but because I had been so sure I was going to die. He took me back into the bedroom and sat me down on the bed. He let go of me and I didn’t want that. I needed him. “Don’t leave me,” I pleaded. “I’m not leaving you,” he said. He grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around me tightly, then pulled me into his lap. “I won’t ever leave you again.”
If he touched me I would slice his gut open. I didn’t care if it happened to me, too.
“The gods and goddesses quarrel with one another over the hearts of mortals as they draw their strength from those who believe.”
You have no idea the power you have over me. How I would give anything if you would only put your hands on me. Your lips. Your tongue. I would scale any mountain, cross any sea, slay any dragon, just for the chance to be with you. I would let you break me apart and rebuild me any way that you wished. You constantly fight with me over everything, determined to win, without realizing that you already have.”
It’s not just your body that I want. I would have it along with your mind, your heart, and your soul.”
“You only have to ask,” Xander said as he struggled with another knot. “I would kill for you. Lay waste to nations. Let the world burn, if you wanted it.”
The goddess appeared to me, and that hasn’t happened in a long 507time. She told me that you and Xander were meant to be together. Truly married.”
I had to love them while I had the chance and not miss out because I was frightened of the future.
