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“All I know is that if I found out heaven was real and got there first? I’d hang back in the waiting room and save you a seat.”
I thought I missed your baking … That was nothing. I was starving to be near you again.”
“I’m having a hard time not touching you,” I admit. “You are … you’re more beautiful than ever, Wren.”
You can take anything and make it into something better, Wren.”
Because you make up half of my soul. Because as desperate as I am to be near you, to be inside you, I’m terrified that having you this close again will also remind you of all the parts of me you wanted to leave.
I’ve known I belonged to her since I was six, in one way or another, no matter the years I resisted it beyond being friends. I’ve never felt like I deserved her back.
kiss her because she’s kind and clever and so pretty it takes my breath away. She’s mine and I’m hers, and all my life’s greatest happiness can be traced back to her, so I kiss her because I want to, and forget the rest.
He can have whatever he wants from me again. Everything is his.
“My sweet baker with a filthy mouth. I missed you so much.”
“That man is the best sort of good. He’s the kind of good that doesn’t want to be seen or fussed over with accolades. He’s a man of action.”
I want her sad music playing in our house and her shit all over the bathroom counter. I want the chance to be lazy with her on a day off. I want our boring life back.
I think if Wren goes before I do, my body would probably give out. I can’t imagine I’d be long for this life.
“Whatever you want from me, Ellis. It’s all yours. It’s always been yours.”
“Don’t be gentle,” I say, voice tight. “I won’t break.” If living without him this long taught me anything, it’s that.
My core was meant to hold him. Meant to grow for him and make a life for him once. My strong thighs were meant to cradle him to me and hold a piece of him forever. His DNA altered mine, and our souls shaped themselves for each other. Everything in my body and being welcomes every part of him,
I hate that fate or chance or fucking luck can get any of the credit for us finding our way back to each other. Not this time. Not when we’ve worked so hard.
“It terrifies me to think that I might’ve let this life go by without finding my way back to you.
I’ll spend the rest of my life proving it to you that I didn’t, if you’ll let me. If you won’t have me back anymore, then I’ll find you in the next life. You are the only thing that makes me believe in that. In something bigger than myself. The way I have felt about you has been the only thing that’s felt like … like it can’t be contained in one body or lifetime.”
“That’s okay, baby. Be mad at me forever,”
I’ve finally come alive under my own skin again. The version of me I was meant to be, misshapen heart finding its matching piece.
“We have whatever’s left of forever, you and me.”
Later, he told me he’d figured out that the secret to compliments is just saying them the minute they’re in his head, without trying to arrange them perfectly. It felt like he’d cracked an egg inside my chest, knowing that he’s been trying to speak from his so purely.
I just want—I want to keep trying life with you. I will do everything in my power to make every minute I get with you count. But. But would you please plan on forever with me? Would you be my wife and spend your life with me?”
If you’re lost, I’ll find you. I’ll give you my body, my heart, and my soul. I’ll cherish every bit of yours in return. I’ll fight with you. I’ll fight for you. I’ll love you for everything left of forever, in every lifetime we get.
Wren thinks we absorbed her into our family, but she’s the one who made us into hers.
After all, what is bravery if not hope in action?
One day, when we’re very old and gray, one of us will open our eyes to a day that the other won’t, but we’ll smile knowing how full life has been, knowing how we spent forever. Everything left of it, together.
