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I grew up with my great love, so I think maybe my heart took shape around his.
I was starving to be near you again.”
some small, pathetic part of me realizes how much power she has over me. How much she owns me. I’ve known I belonged to her since I was six, in one way or another, no matter the years I resisted it beyond being friends.
I kiss her because she’s kind and clever and so pretty it takes my breath away. She’s mine and I’m hers, and all my life’s greatest happiness can be traced back to her, so I kiss her because I want to, and forget the rest.
“If this is you being mean, I don’t think I’ll survive it when you’re nice,”
“New beginnings are best when you get to pick and choose what you carry over from the old.”
“Everything, everywhere. I want to be able to call someone and share what I’m worried about or puzzling over at any given point during the day again.” I grab her hand and kiss it. “Sometimes just sharing helps, even when the other person can’t fix it.”
Make plans with me forever, I mean. Hitch your life to mine again and we’ll go places. We’ll share every plan, every heavy thing together, and all the good stuff, too.
when it comes down to it, on a physical level, feeling happy doesn’t take priority over surviving,” I say. “We’re programmed to remember the bad so that we know what to stay away from and how to keep going. That’s why the shit that hurts stands out in our minds. That’s why holding on to the happy takes work.”
I know what kind of man you are.” I stab a finger at him. “I. Love. You. I would choose you. Over everything! Over everyone.”
“Whatever you want from me, Ellis. It’s all yours. It’s always been yours.”
I’m so needy for him, I feel made for him. My skin was meant for his hands. My core was meant to hold him. Meant to grow for him and make a life for him once. My strong thighs were meant to cradle him to me and hold a piece of him forever. His DNA altered mine, and our souls shaped themselves for each other. Everything in my body and being welcomes every part of him,
“It terrifies me to think that I might’ve let this life go by without finding my way back to you. Never again, Wren. I promise. Never again. I’m not letting you go. And if you’re mad at me about this and if you think I kept this from you to manipulate you or something, I’ll spend the rest of my life proving it to you that I didn’t, if you’ll let me. If you won’t have me back anymore, then I’ll find you in the next life. You are the only thing that makes me believe in that. In something bigger than myself. The way I have felt about you has been the only thing that’s felt like … like it can’t be
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maybe I still don’t have it all figured out, but I’m working on it, and I’ll keep working on it. I’ll keep going to therapy. I’ll go with you if you want to go together. I’ll talk to you about everything. I’ll listen about everything. Talk my fucking ears off, baby; I’ll beg you to every day if I need to. I’m begging you to fight with me, do anything with me. Just be with me.”
God, I’m totally sober and entirely too drunk on this. I can’t believe I’m dry-humping my ex-husband on a dance floor like we’re at junior prom.
He’s mine again and I want everyone to know it. I want him to feel found and chosen by me, as much as I feel by him.
We’ll just slip away when we’re ready.” Her chin tips up against my chest, and our eyes catch. “We have whatever’s left of forever, you and me.”
“I didn’t know what I was doing when Indy came to me. I didn’t know what I was doing when I showed up here. You helped me see that it was okay not to know. You helped me take care of my moments, and time took over from there. I don’t know what the future will look like with me. I don’t know if I’ll end up with my own place, and I don’t know if I’ll struggle for money. I don’t know if I’ll make a good husband.” His swallow is audible. “I don’t know if I’ll make a good dad. But I sure as hell know I’ll try. I just want—I want to keep trying life with you. I will do everything in my power to make
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If you’re lost, I’ll find you. I’ll give you my body, my heart, and my soul. I’ll cherish every bit of yours in return. I’ll fight with you. I’ll fight for you. I’ll love you for everything left of forever, in every lifetime we get.
You and I make our own luck, Byrd.”
the love of my life. The person I’d choose, every time. In every life.
Wren thinks we absorbed her into our family, but she’s the one who made us into hers.
We’ll make plans and we’ll tease. We’ll flirt and we’ll fight. One day, when we’re very old and gray, one of us will open our eyes to a day that the other won’t, but we’ll smile knowing how full life has been, knowing how we spent forever. Everything left of it, together.