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for him to show up either drunk or eminently hungover, carrying an entire baguette that he unceremoniously plopped onto the table before proceeding to devour it throughout the meal.
I don’t know if we need romantic love to be happy in life, and I worry that my perspective would always be a little bit skewed when it comes to that anyway. I grew up with my great love, so I think maybe my heart took shape around his.
And I spend every second of it coming to accept that I’m still in love with my wife.
I grind my teeth and try to forget the way my heart thudded against my bones like it wanted to break out and get at his the moment he was in my arms.
My heart took shape around hers, too, and it will never go back.
“I don’t give a fuck who you’ve slept with or how many times. I don’t give a fuck if you have a boyfriend right this minute. We belong to each other in ways no one else ever will.”
“One week. And I just want to celebrate with you, Wren. It’s your birthday, it’s a big change in our lives, and I…” He shrugs. “I fucking miss you.”
I miss you, too sounds glib. You have been missing from me is more accurate. There’s a void where you lived in me.
“All I know is that if I found out heaven was real and got there first? I’d hang back in the waiting room and save you a seat.”
It’s a privilege to feel good in my own skin and to be grateful for what my body is capable of, as well as what it’s already carried me through. It serves me and no one else. I proudly own the space I take up, and maybe that’s because of the perspective I’ve gained.
The love I have for myself physically and the scars I bear have all been earned.
“All I know is that it doesn’t feel like we’re done with each other. Does it?”
“You were made for someplace like this,” he says. My body erupts in chills. “With that pile of golden hair and all your golden skin in the sun. I thought I missed your baking … That was nothing. I was starving to be near you again.”
I’ve got the biggest, most devastating crush on my ex-husband, and I hope I don’t get absolutely flattened by it in the end. Not again.
to yell when you’re about to get thrown in—” “You said stop, Wren. They should have stopped.” It was clear he wouldn’t budge on this, and I supposed he was right after all.
She’s kissing me. Her lips are on mine after five long years. Five hundred years. She’s kissing me. I’m home.
Because you make up half of my soul. Because as desperate as I am to be near you, to be inside you, I’m terrified that having you this close again will also remind you of all the parts of me you wanted to leave.
She’s mine and I’m hers, and all my life’s greatest happiness can be traced back to her, so I kiss her because I want to, and forget the rest.
“As we covered, Bern here and I are Australian, living on this replicated Italian villa we get to call home, growing French grapes on Californian soil. So, naturally, we will be cooking Indian cuisine today!”
“Don’t be gentle,” I say, voice tight. “I won’t break.” If living without him this long taught me anything, it’s that.
My skin was meant for his hands. My core was meant to hold him. Meant to grow for him and make a life for him once. My strong thighs were meant to cradle him to me and hold a piece of him forever. His DNA altered mine, and our souls shaped themselves for each other.
I’ll spend the rest of my life proving it to you that I didn’t, if you’ll let me. If you won’t have me back anymore, then I’ll find you in the next life. You are the only thing that makes me believe in that. In something bigger than myself. The way I have felt about you has been the only thing that’s felt like … like it can’t be contained in one body or lifetime.”
I can’t believe I’m dry-humping my ex-husband on a dance floor like we’re at junior prom.
This love that I feel for him again is something brand new, like some charred marshmallow skin peeled away, exposing a fresh, gooey, unmarred center. I’d keep getting heart burnt for the rest of my life with him, knowing we can find a new layer underneath. Until every bit of us runs out.
“We have whatever’s left of forever, you and me.”
If you’re lost, I’ll find you. I’ll give you my body, my heart, and my soul. I’ll cherish every bit of yours in return. I’ll fight with you. I’ll fight for you. I’ll love you for everything left of forever, in every lifetime we get.
