Well, Actually

by Mazey Eddings

“Are you saying I can’t pull off love bombing as successfully as Jamie Dornan?”

HAHA

It physically pains me to ogle Cooper—I’d rather walk on hot nails than be attracted to this man—but it’s impossible not to notice he has an impeccably bombastic ass

Felt this one

But even twenty-one-year-old me tiptoeing around my pansexual identity—not sure if I was outwardly and actively queer enough to claim a spot in the community—felt

HEAVY on this

I realized I couldn’t hate myself into someone I liked.

Ouch

“Realizing your parents are human is a devastating thing.

More ouch

His suit pants are impeccably tailored, hugging his ass and thighs in a way that makes me want to start barking,

BARK BARK