Semi-Well-Adjusted Despite Literally Everything

by Alyson Stoner

The catch was, we didn’t know what doors we had opened until we were already inside.

Please help this food to nourish our bodies so we can offer our best to the world.

As children, we thought we were meeting with trusted adults who cared about us on a personal level. In reality, they dangled dreams in front of us like a hypnotist with a pocket watch, raptly watching us duke it out for roles while having a completely separate corporate agenda driving decisions.

disowning messy parts of myself didn’t mean they didn’t exist, nor had I “fixed” them. Avoiding uncomfortable thoughts and volatile feelings did not make them, or the deeper wounds accompanying them, disappear. They were just banished out of my direct awareness, lying dormant in the shadows. And I had a life’s worth of them festering.

seemed like the more I shielded others, the more I shrank.

I might be the only one who’ll advocate for myself.

“I guess … the people who really love me will continue to love me no matter what weight I am?” “Bingo! You’re lovable and worthy at all times and in all forms.” I wanted to believe that was the case, but I had way too many years of internalizing other messages to adopt the affirmation. Rewiring my brain would take time.

If I wanted to get better, I had to put recovery first, and nobody could choose it for me.

Remember: Everything that is in the oak tree is in the acorn.”

“Either your love is bigger than this and you see my heart, or you’re not a God I’m capable of serving.

Never again would I abandon myself.

But I knew that I needed to allow myself to be messy in order to sort through it and heal.

We took a moment to marvel at the evidence of healing in my life: my growing confidence, rebuilding my life foundation, forming healthy relationships. No matter what, I’d found a way to move forward. There was nothing more empowering than to feel my resilience.

Life wasn’t getting easier, but it was unequivocally better.

I can’t redo my own childhood, but I can use my experience, training, and resources to provide a healthier foundation for future generations.

And if nothing else, studies estimate that by 2030, two-thirds of identity fraud cases will be linked back to the thousands of photos of kids shared by parents and guardians.