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“Dru is very romantic, and I like that. Tyrell is incredibly smart, and I like that. James is hilarious, and I like that. And Russ is so much fun, and I like that a lot,” I explained.
Wait until you find you a man who gives you everything you’ve ever wanted and needed.
When you find exactly what you want, you will want to and it’ll feel like home. What I found with your father when we were twenty-five is rare. It happens when it happens and it’ll happen for you, too. But in the meantime, live your life for you first and then find someone who fulfills you like life fulfills you. Don’t worry about settling down. Worry about settling in.” “Settling in?” “Settling in to your life.” Her smile widened. “Enjoying what God has blessed you with.”
“Because I’m having fun,” I answered with a laugh. “And when I’m not having fun or when I’m ready to end the situation, I end it. It’s really that simple.”
“Do not let someone else’s bullshit stand in the way of what you want.”
“I only spend time with people I enjoy. I only do things I want to do. I only have sex with people who get me off. So, my time is never wasted, and my energy stays high.”
“If out of nowhere a man explicitly says he’s not a player, it’s because he’s the coach.” As she cackled on the other end of the line, I continued. “Don’t trust anything that muthafucka says.”
“I wasn’t going to take your man,” she sputtered. “The only thing you could take from me is notes.”
I cackled. “No. It wasn’t that deep. I could’ve let it go, but I didn’t want to.” I lifted my shoulders. “I might be fat, but I’ll never be the bigger person.”
I was admired by plenty of strangers. I was adored by plenty of men. But my confidence and self-worth came from within. My realness, my authenticity, and my zest for life created a safe space for me.
“When I say you’re my escape, I mean you’re my freedom.” He cupped my face. “When I say you’re my escape, I mean I can be myself with you.” His mouth hovered over mine. “When I say you’re my escape, I mean that whenever and wherever we’re together, it’s the only place I want to be.”
“You are irresistible. Your mind … your conversation … your company … your heart … All of you is fucking irresistible. And I’m tired of resisting you.”
“I’ve never craved someone like I crave you. I’ve never wanted to be in a relationship before I said yes to you. You have burned your way into my heart, and these last couple of weeks…” I shook my head slightly and then rested my forehead against his. “I’ve never had someone’s absence feel as distinct as their presence.”
I felt his energy pouring into me. I felt his love and lust, respect and reassurance, intimacy and affection filling me.
Russell Long was the manifestation of the love I always knew existed, but thought would be impossible to find. I’d been fostering men until they found their forever home. It never occurred to me that they were also fostering me until I found mine.
