Madame (Salacious Players' Club, #6)

by Sara Cate

“I think I wanted it to tell me I’m submissive because that’s the role I’ve been playing my entire life. I belonged to my father. I belonged to my small town and all the expectations put on me there. Then I belonged to my husband. I thought that’s what I wanted because that’s how it’s supposed to be.”

All I can do is reminisce on that night when I opened my door at the club to find Clay waiting for me. The night everything ended between us. When he uttered those earth-shattering words—I just want you.

Love is nothing more than a form of control. And from here on out, I will be the only one in control.

I just want him.

For as long as he lets me, I will.

I see right through the mask and notice things no one else does, like the sadness in his eyes or the way he seems so desperate for my touch. I think he must have been deprived of human contact.

Is loving a person truly enough when existing together requires so much more?

“I just realized I wanted more.” My mouth forms an O shape. “More from her?” He stares down at me with a softness in his eyes. “More from anyone.”

There’s an invisible wall between my two lives that I can’t bring myself to cross.

can’t keep living like this. I can’t keep calling Jade over to distract me from the pain of the open wounds I have from another woman. For a moment, I thought I was doing better. I was moving on. Then, one quick encounter and it was like being catapulted right back in time to the very beginning—falling in love with her all over again.

Then she winds her fingers in my hair and smiles. “Good boy.” And just like that, those two words become my undoing.

“I have a good thing here, Eden. I could move on and be happy, but you won’t let me. It’s like you live in my brain, and I can’t function without you, and I don’t know if it’s because I want you to be my…” His voice trails off on the word I know he struggles to voice—Madame. Clay was always so resistant to the labels. But he loved everything we did. “Or?” I say quietly. “Or if it’s because I just want you.”

I’m trying to focus on this Gilmore Girls episode, even though I’ve seen it a hundred times and I already know Rory will say or do something stupid.

But more than anything, I’m smiling because I know I get to see her again, and just being in her presence feels like a gift.

“Be a good boy and lie down so I can ride your face until I come.” My voice is raspy and deeper than normal as I mumble the words against his ear. He immediately freezes, his hand stopping on my thigh, and I swear I can feel his dick twitch against my leg. Then he lifts up and stares into my eyes. “Jesus Christ, Jade. That was so fucking hot.” In a rush, he kisses me as he tears my shorts down my legs, pulling my underwear with them. He works off his tie and unbuttons his shirt before slipping it off and flipping onto his back next to me.

Then suddenly, I’m picturing her. Which is unexpected.

Madame in black leather, long black hair, and breasts spilling from the top of her bra. I can practically hear her voice, sultry and commanding. She’s talking me through it. Telling me how good I’m doing. Telling me how hot I look. Telling me how dirty I am. Then, in my mind, she tells me to come. And I do.

“If you’re going to be a people pleaser, then the first person you need to please is yourself.”

I like Jade too much. It would be very, very stupid of me to develop feelings for my ex’s new girlfriend. But I don’t think there’s much I can do about it at this point.

Her pleasure is all I care about anymore. Pleasing her. Making her proud. Hearing her praise. For weeks now, it’s been all I want. It’s like she’s rewired my brain. Morning, noon, and night, Eden is on my mind.

I get the feeling she’s training me. She’s dangling my own orgasm in front of me like a carrot on a string. Every time I come into the room, my own satisfaction belongs to her. I show her all the obedience she wants. And now I’ll gladly devote my life to making her come on the hour every hour if that’s what she wants.

Suddenly, it’s like we are connected. I am hers, wholly and unconditionally. The look on her face tells me so.

“Touch yourself, baby. Let me see you.”

“Let me see you come on my desk, baby. My dirty, filthy girl. Show me how fucking nasty you can be.”

“Thanks for doing this,” I whisper. With a cold expression, he says, “I’m not doing it for you.” I glance toward my son again and swallow down my guilt. “He’s a cool kid. Only wish I knew about him sooner.”

I’m Madame. And I’m Mama. Who am I without those two things?

“There’s nothing wrong with being submissive or selfless, but you have to know your own boundaries before you can expect anyone else to respect them.”

The truth of who Eden really is has always been a well-kept secret. And she’d rather lie to everyone in her life than be real for even one second.

If I could make myself bleed for her, I would.

clay Bradley, the man that you are

So it’s personal, then. I don’t say that out loud, but we’re both thinking it. And I’m not sure how that makes me feel. I sort of expected her to treat it like a job.

Maybe it’s because I’m just as attracted to her as I am to him. That’s fine…I guess.

But now I’m catapulting myself headfirst into what I know is going to hurt later. For one touch from her, I’d do far more.

I find myself smiling at her—my sweet, dirty girl.

“Please, Madame. Just let me come. I was so good.” “He was good,” Jade says in response. “He’s always good,” Eden adds, and I stare into her green eyes.

For the first time in my life, I have someone else to care about other than myself.

“No, I don’t. I don’t know that. I had no idea it wasn’t because you didn’t care about me. I felt like nothing to you.” He’s standing so close the proximity makes it hard to breathe. “You were everything to me,” I reply in a hushed shout.

“Don’t tell me that now,” he replies, looking pained. “Now that I can’t have you.” “You do have me.”

“Fuck it,”

aaaaahhh!!!!

But that’s the thing, isn’t it? Love and family life are complicated. It’s never perfect, and problems are truly unavoidable. Guilt, fear, and resentment are just shadows—inevitable dark spots behind where love, trust, and happiness shine.

“You want to come, don’t you?” I ask in a teasing tone. “Yes, Madame.” “Then ask nicely,” I say on a thrust. “Please…can I come?” he begs breathlessly. “Good boy,” I reply, petting his back. “You can come now.”

I’ll be hooked on them the same way I was hooked on him just a few months ago.

“I want to feel how much you want it, Jade,” I say as I kiss her. “Show me how much you want me to lick your pussy.”

She doesn’t hesitate. My girl learns so well.

I know it’s going to be so good when she finally comes, and I can’t wait to hear the sounds she makes.

I certainly couldn’t make Jade do that, but now that I know she can, you can fucking bet I’m going to try.

clay Bradley, the fucking man that you are

Falling in love with him after that night was not an accident. Maybe it was fate. I don’t know.

“Eden, what do you think love is? If it made sense, it would be like taxes or the weather. But it doesn’t. That’s why there are songs and art and literature—because we’re all just trying to make sense of something that never, ever makes sense.”

“It’s okay, Mama,” he whispers, his tiny hand stroking my back as I hold him in a tight hug. “It’s not your fault.” Everything inside me breaks on those little words. He has no idea, but it is my fault. It always is.

Jack has people who love him and want to be in his life. There are people who love me and want to be in my life. And for some reason, I’ve been living in so much fear that I deprived us both of that love. But not anymore.

“Now be a good boy and fuck me.”