Only for the Week (The Forever Falling Series)

by Natasha Bishop

“Look, look, look. They’re synchronized,” I hear Christian say. I peek at Dani and Evie, noting that all three of us are doing a happy dance as we eat the mac and cheese.

“I think there’s…” she cuts herself off, turning to look at whatever imaginary thing just whizzed by her, and when she turns back to me, she must have forgotten she was speaking because she doesn’t say a word.

Her voice cracks as she pinches the bridge of her nose and heaves out a sob. Arnold, Janelle, and Dani all freeze at the sight of Amerie’s tears but they don’t move me.

Arnold clears his throat. “Well, that’s great. I told you it was around here somewhere.” “Oh, is that why you seemed so unconcerned?” “What?” “It just seemed like you were having a lot of fun not looking for my ring.” Eve guffaws and Janelle moves closer to her, effectively removing herself from Amerie’s line of sight.

“We were looking for it. Ask Rome and Janelle. I was using my detective skills to retrace our steps, that’s why we’re here.” Micah and Christian laugh, I’m sure at the image of Sherlock Black they know so well, but Amerie’s face only constricts more. “I don’t wanna ask Janelle anything about you.”

Woof

Micah and Dani stay absolutely still and quiet. Christian laughs while nodding.

“So, I can’t come with y’all?” “You’d wanna be the fifth wheel?” “With my parents and my sister? I wouldn’t think I’d feel like a fifth wheel in that situation.”

“See, she disagrees.” “Ri, stop,” Dani barks. “That’s not what the fuck she said, Ri.” Eve’s words come out as a harsh growl. If Janelle isn’t willing to lean on me this week, I’m glad she has Eve and Dani in her corner. “Okay, that’s enough,” Arnold, now deciding to use his vocal cords, interrupts.

“J, I’m pretty sure my brother is on the same flight as your parents, and I have to pick him up so you can ride with me; that way you don’t have to be where you aren’t wanted.” Arnold hangs his head as Amerie scoffs.

Jalen is an NBA legend. He played for the Washington Blaze, bringing home four championship rings, four MVP awards, and three Olympic gold medals. Three years ago, at the age of thirty-five, he shocked the world by announcing that he was retiring from the game.

Wow

“You see the dumbass standing next to Arnold?” She sneaks a peek in that direction and looks back at me with a curious expression. “The guy with the swole shoulders who looks like he’s never seen a leg day in his life? Yeah, who is he?”

Cortez tries to ride his ATV over to me, but Rome cuts him off, planting his ATV between us and looking straight ahead as if he didn’t notice him.

The water is freezing cold, my breathing slowing the farther we go, but I feel a gentle pressure on my back beneath the surface and without looking I know it’s Rome. My body recognizes the bliss Rome’s hands bring to it.

“Ayo, that’s wild. Where was Mom at?” He gives me a look that says to be serious. “Sleep.” “For someone who says she be shutting shit down on all her girls’ trips, she can’t ever stay up past nine at home.” “I’m saying.”

“I wasn’t expecting your invite today, Janelle. Everything okay?” my mom asks as she sits down. Leave it up to her to jump right in. Let’s do this. “Actually, no. Everything’s not okay.” She perks up in surprise, shifting her body closer to me. “What’s wrong, baby? Tell your mama how she can help.” “I’m glad you’re feeling so helpful because my issue is with you.” She gasps while my dad doesn’t look all that surprised to hear these words from me. He knows I’ve been toeing the line with his wife for as long as I can remember.

Let’s not forget who dated Arnold first, so if you want to talk to someone about not being the woman you raised, I think you’re talking to the wrong daughter.”

Exactly!

She takes my hand in hers over the table. “No, no. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. This isn’t what I wanted.” Our server brings out our drinks, giving me an opportunity to break the physical connection between me and my mom. A mother’s touch is supposed to be calming and soothing, but my mother’s touch feels suffocating. I feel myself choking on her expectations and perceptions.

She slams her hand on the table, drawing the eyes of others around us. “Damnit, Janelle. You have never needed me.” “What are you talking about?” “Ever since you were a kid you never needed me for anything. It was either your dad or no one. You taught yourself how to tie your shoes. Your dad taught you how to ride a bike. You worked through boy issues on your own. Your dad taught you how to drive. You killed undergrad without so much as a complaint. I never heard a peep from you during medical school. You just never relied on me. When everything happened with you, Amerie, and Arnold, I just knew you would need me. I just knew something like this would eat you up inside and you’d finally need me to get you through something. I guess I convinced myself that was the truth even when you said it wasn’t.” My head spins at this revelation. Confusion gives way to rage as I take in my mother’s earnest smile. As if her confession will automatically fix decades of issues between us. She turns her palm up on the table, expecting me to join hands with her. Fuck that. “That…that doesn’t even make sense.” Her smile falters.

“You don’t have to leave, Janelle. We can sit and talk through this.” “I really don’t want to, Mom. You’ve had a lifetime to sit and talk to me. I appreciate you finally telling me the truth, but I’ve heard enough.” “What does that even mean?” Her voice comes out in a shrill way. “I’m still your mother and we still have the wedding to go to.” “That’s what everything comes back around to. What Amerie needs.”

Me: You wanna be a book boyfriend so bad

“The only regret I have is you losing. Is you. Is losing.” He clears his throat and blinks back into focus. “Is losing you. I made a mistake. I chose the wrong sister.”

Oh fuck no

“Nelly, you still gotta do your makeup and I wanna get dressed and get fucked up with my girls. Whatever you have to say can wait. I don’t want any drama tonight. Can you do that for me?” I love how she says this like I’m the one causing the drama. I didn’t ask for this shit to be brought to my door.

“You can’t say fuck the wedding. You’re the maid of honor.”

“Rome and the guys got into a bar fight!”

Ghettoooo

One of the goons laughs but quickly cuts it off when the other ones don’t join.

“Now, moving on to our announcement. Cortez is in the hospital.” He pauses and I’m not sure why because everyone knows he’s in the hospital and no one cares. His own parents don’t even seem concerned.

LMAO

“I care!” Her voice goes up another octave. A blood vessel is about to pop in her forehead and glass is about to start shattering at these volumes. Christian winces from the sound, taking a step away from her. Jalen and Micah start looking back the way I assume they came, plotting their exit.

I keep telling myself these past two weeks have been too good to be true. I’m so used to being slowly drained dry that the feeling of someone breathing life into me is a foreign concept.

I’m not sure what she expects from me after this declaration. I can’t tell her it’s okay because it’s not. I can’t tell her I forgive her because I don’t, at least not yet. All of this animosity could’ve been avoided if she had just talked to me. Sitting here looking at this woman who I love with my whole heart, I see a glimpse of the girl I used to call my best friend. I hope she finds her way back to that girl one day, but I can’t be present while she searches for her. “Goodbye, Ri.”

GOOD

My steps become heavy as the image of him allowing his fiancée to disparage her own sister in front of us like he was an innocent bystander plays on a loop in my mind.

I don’t like to assume anything, though, so when Coco Jones’s “ICU” starts to play, I hold out my hand and ask her to dance with me.

Oh hell yes!

When I looked at him like he’d lost it, he just said he was tired of not speaking what was in his heart.

“Yeah. Actually, I want you to beta test it for me.” My eyes bulge out of my head. “Rome, you know I don’t like scary games.” “She watches horror movies but hates scary games. Make it make sense.”

“Umm, I’m sorry. What was the last part?” Amerie rolls her eyes and drops her hands in her lap. “I’m so horrible, and yet she can’t even listen to me during therapy.” And here I zone out again.

We stay at our table after we’ve gorged on our delicious meals, still laughing about random things. When it’s just Dad and me, things are a lot easier. However, when he hunches his shoulders and leans forward, I know he’s about to burst our happy bubble.

I always felt like my dad did the best he could with what he had. I still believe that, but maybe his best was less than I deserved.

I’m about halfway through a pint of dulce de leche ice cream and an episode of Love Is Blind when my phone rings.

LOL

“Not at all. I like the idea of someone seeing how greedy you are for me. I want them to see just how much power you have over me.”

I sit and stare at the building for as long as possible before continuing to my shift at New Beginnings.

Her handshake is firm, the kind pretentious white men would spend hours praising.

Its bc its good

Why do you want this role?” I hate asking that question. If I were asked this, I’d say, “Because I need a job. The fuck?,”

Evie: You got any crack? What the hell? Me: Ummm excuse me???? Evie: Crack. You got any? Evie: *inserts gif of Dave Chappelle’s Tyrone Biggums character*

LMFAO

“If it gives you peace of mind, it’s not. Is having her in the wedding party going to make you happy?” “No.” My answer is instant and firm. “Then why are you considering it?” I open my mouth to respond and then shut it quickly. I don’t have a response for that. Why am I considering asking her when I know I don’t want to?

I feel slightly guilty that the image of Rome tasing my sister makes me laugh so hard.

He puts his hand on my nape and kisses my lips. “Dr. Janelle Martin does eat.” I chuckle. “And does.”

Not eat LOLLLL

“Wait, wait, wait,” Rome rasps, grabbing my arm before I can grab the test. “What’s wrong?” “Nothing, I just wanna say I love you. No matter the result.”

To Amanda—You are a raggedy heaux and all you do is bully me, hate on me, and convince your readers that I’m the mean one…and I couldn’t love you more for it. Lmao, keep being the heaux you are, and don’t think you can get rid of me because you can’t.