Behooved

by M. Stevenson

Whereas I had always clung to my duty like a lifeline, doing exactly as my parents expected, part of me still hoping it would earn me their love long past when the evidence showed otherwise. Even now, I couldn’t quite bury that hope entirely.

And more than that—this was a chance to prove myself. A chance to do my duty as Duchess Liliana. To finally have my parents deem me enough instead of merely expendable.

Emotion was not one of the nine Virtues; and revealing my feelings, as my mother had recited endless times, was a vulnerability anyone could exploit.

Each said they supported me while questioning all my decisions. I knew they wanted the best for me, but I wished they trusted me to decide what that meant for myself.

Arnhelm’s streets were twisting and narrow, as if each had been wrested with great effort from a land reluctant to be tamed.

followed the line of the city up from the docks, where it clawed its way towards the mountains before becoming engulfed by mist.

was the representative of the Council of Nine. His future wife. His equal. And if Aric thought he could insult me without consequence, I would soon show him otherwise.

His voice was softer than I’d expected, mellifluous, like the notes of a viola.

Aric’s eyes narrowed, a sky darkening before a storm.

Aric was still reading, glowering at the page as if the book had personally offended him.

knew firsthand that one could appear collected while falling to pieces inside.

She seemed approximately as flexible, and persuadable, as a granite boulder.

The sunset colors cast the scenery as something magical, fleshing the world with color like an artist painting over a sketch. My first impression of Gildenheim had been grey and grim, but I realized now that I had seen only an unfinished portrait.

The palette of this land wasn’t ugly, merely different.

glanced over my shoulder in time to see a final sliver of sun, molten gold and every bit as burning, slip below the horizon.

I’d been raised to believe that no concession, no expression of gratitude, came without a debt to be collected later.

Yet while believing the worst of me, he’d also … sworn to protect and care for me? And, more confusingly, meant it?

Swathes of clouds blanketed the sky, dyed rose and gold by the waxing light.

can practically feel you thinking.-

All the answers I need are already in the books, there for the finding.-

He’d softened, like dawn breaking over the sky. Talking of things you loved could do that to a person.

-Strength isn’t about what your body can do,- Aric went on. -It’s about how you respond to adversity. And I’ve never known someone so determined to do the right thing, no matter the personal cost.-

that I could be cognizant of your needs.-

The way he speaks is so intelligent and bookish. Love this mmc and his emotional in intelligence

It suddenly occurred to me that Aric wasn’t cold, but nervous. He’d

But Aric had seen past my defenses, and he’d neither struck me down nor cast me aside. Instead, he’d offered me a hand up.

He sees her as an equal. Not as something broken to be fixed

And more notably, as Aric questioned me, he relaxed. It was like watching an early spring sunrise, dark and cold at the start, with a slow unfurling into warmth.

The echoes of my parents’ whispers lingered in my ears, telling me that I was only baring my heart to a waiting blade. And though I wanted to ignore them, I’d heard the words too many times to be certain they weren’t true, that the sword wasn’t ready to fall.

“And what if, should you come to understand me, you don’t like what you discover?”

would argue it’s worse to be truly known and despised than not cared for to begin with.”

“But there are certainly those who judge the time I spend reading as worthless compared to skills I lack. Compared to … certain other people.”

I could want, I could yearn, but I could never have.

“Respectfully, I disagree. Caring means you’re strong. It means you’re brave enough to let yourself feel, even though it puts your heart at risk.”

I wasn’t the daughter unflinchingly fulfilling her duties … I wasn’t sure I was anyone at all. Aric was waiting for my answer. I swallowed and forced a smile. “Thank you,” I managed to whisper. I allowed myself to imagine it. Once we reversed the enchantment and returned to Arnhelm I would be freed from a marriage with a man I didn’t love. I could do anything I desired. Marry whomever I chose. Not Catalina—that chance was long gone. But there were countless other options. A woman from the Zhei Empire, who would bring with her silks and spices. A man from

I’d thought Aric cold, like stone or steel. Now I realized how wrong I was. He burned like untamed magic, like the slice of a blade against skin. His kiss sang through my veins, lighting every nerve in my body with a cascade of sparks.

To want and not be wanted in return felt like laying my heart bare to the blade.

But I didn’t share his confidence in myself.

To love someone was to throw down your shields, lay your heart bare, and watch as it was cut in two.

knew all too well what it was like to grow up under the eye of parents who deemed you inadequate, unworthy, wrong.

It was Aric’s inner life that I loved. The way he’d been gentle and patient, never guilting me when my body needed rest. The way he glowed with passion when he talked about the things he loved. The way he’d opened his heart to me, showed me his scars, the words that had made him bleed—even though I could have used his trust to hurt him more.

And wasn’t it better to take the chance to live than to hide underground forever, waiting for a certainty the world could never promise?

But I know how it feels to have a part of yourself that you can’t control. If that doesn’t stop you from loving me, why should it lessen my love for you?”

understand you, Bianca. And I love you—including the parts of you that you don’t love yourself. I will love them for you, if you’ll let me.”

Being around him had taught me to wait for his answers. They were there if I was patient, emerging like stars in the evening sky.

Knowing something was true didn’t equate to believing it. This was a knot that could only be untangled with time.

would no longer take the safe road that behooved me, but run instead along whichever path led to the man I loved.