How to Kill Your Family

by Bella Mackie

‘All human wisdom is contained in these two words, “Wait and Hope”.’

A woman blessed with such innate beauty doesn’t have to try particularly hard,

People so often just want you to hold up a mirror for their own opinions.

Men will stand in front of you and block your path to get your attention. They will slow their car down so that you feel uncomfortable as you walk down the street. They will hover

over you in bars, touching your arm, grabbing your hand. If you’re lucky, it’ll just be your hand.

Men often laugh with surprise when they find women funny, as though it’s a skill we’re not expected to possess.

I feel quite often that it’s good not to know what goes on in the male mind. If we did, I suspect we would spend a lot of our lives in fearful despair.

Men who turn their lights full beam on you for a few seconds and leave you chasing that artificial warmth for the rest of your life. It wrecks you and doesn’t leave a mark on them.

modern life is 75 per cent cancelling plans and both parties feeling relieved

I didn’t know how to stop love. That

felt completely beyond me and it made me feel like I was drowning.

Life is so short, and we spend so much of it talking to terrible people about the minutiae of their nothing lives.

I’ve never thought about how deliberately small I’d made my life, always filled with anger directed at people who never thought of me at all.