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A love so pure, so tangible, and unconditional bouncing between us. The only safe space I have ever truly known beating inside her chest as I draw closer to it, pounding over the wood planks to answer her summons and feast on a love that blankets me. A love that protects me and brings me peace while keeping me whole. A love so mine, so ours. A love and place we made together, against all odds. Our darkness mingling and molding, pouring our foundation, and erecting the frame while we decorated the walls with the memories we made. Filling every shelf and lining every cabinet, creating our
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“Please don’t mourn me.”
She once told me life could happen in a blink, but it’s a series of blinks that brought us together.
Because I know the difference between living your life and life happening to you, and they are distinctly different. Living life is making choices—what to wear, when to eat, whether or not to cut your hair. These are the easy decisions we get to make—to have some say or a hand in. Life happening to you is vastly different. It comes by way of a powerful reckoning force that cements your path for better or worse. It’s only in the wake of it that you realize the easy decisions are the only choices you have any real say in. The hard stuff—the really hard stuff—that’s life happening to you.
“You don’t seem to be a soldier that follows orders”—he looks down at me in my seat—“so maybe that’s why he bet you.”
“Your apology doesn’t count, Tyler. You’re not apologizing because you’re sorry—only because you got caught. If you want to be a real man, apologize when you mean it, or it never will count for anyone. And don’t think you can fool them. People know when you mean it and when you don’t.”
“Well, he says if you ever find someone that has a need you can fill, then you should fill it.”
“I’m not your problem, Soldier.” “No, what you are, is my fucking reason,” I declare, pulling back slightly to command her eyes. “My reason to fight and my reason to come home. You are home. Haven’t you figured that out yet?”
“It’s crazy where a day can take you”—I
