A Forbidden Alchemy

by Stacey McEwan

He shook himself from his reverie. “Well,” he said. “That fuckin’ showed me, didn’t it?” Patrick Colson liked to say fuck a lot.

Later, it would be a litany. A lullaby. You were only twelve. You couldn’t have known.

“You wouldn’t hurt me, Nina Harrow,” he said. “We know too much about each other. Don’t we?”

“Well, shall I throw you over my shoulder and drag you back? I’ll confess, it’s what I fantasized doing on the way over here.”

All of it reminded Patrick of that courtyard girl—the one whose hand he’d held in Belavere City. The one whose cheek he’d kissed. The one he’d thought of every day since.

“If you don’t want me defendin’ your honor, you can head on up to that bed you mentioned us sharing.” My collar felt suddenly too tight. “I suspect my honor has never entered your mind.”

“Oh, it has,” he said darkly. He leaned so close that his mouth hovered over my ear. “Say the word, darlin’, and I’ll carry you up those stairs.”

“No one will touch you, Nina. They wouldn’t dare. You have my word.”

“Well, you dropped your skirt in front of me once, Nina Harrow. By all means, do it again.”

“You might just be the most infuriating man I’ve ever met.”

“You might be the death of me.”

“Every woman should be complimented. Especially by the men who cut in to dance with them.” “Then, you have very pretty freckles.”

He grinned. He couldn’t seem to help it. “I intend to put the rest of these boys to shame and spoil you for anyone else.”

“You’re too beautiful to be real,” he said suddenly, softly. With my ear pressed to his chest, I could feel the words, too. “There’s your compliment.” His fingers traced a very careful line then, slowly up my spine and back down, and in their wake, they left a trail of fire.

I swallowed. “I was scared to forget you.” The sound of his heart beating made me think of caves under leagues of sea. “I never had a hope in the world of forgetting you, Scurry girl.”

“And what will happen to this… romance when he finds out why you’re really here, Nina?” he asked. “When Patrick finds out who sent you?” My fingers clenched. “Theo, please… someone might hear—” “Or worse,” Theo continued, “what will happen to you, when Tanner learns you’ve been seduced by the man you were sent to bury?”

He had begun to think that he’d been waiting all these years to see her again.

“You shouldn’t waste time hopin’ people will change, son. They never do.”

“If you topple her, I’ll trip you every day for the rest of your sorry life.”

he had begun to crave the sound of her voice.

He suddenly pictured himself trapping her against a wall again. He wanted to feel her soft body pressed once more to his. To run his hands over every agonizing curve of her.

“I’ll remind you that it took six months for you to catch me.” “It took six months to find you. Catching you was simple.”

He heard her laughter, and he thought its sound could end a war.

“I think I’ve fallen in love with you,” he said gruffly. “So you’d better fuckin’ come out, Nina. Promise me. Now.” I blustered. “I… I promise.”

“Ask me again if I trust you,” he whispered, burying the fingers of one hand into the light curls behind her ear. He could hear her swallow. “Do you trust me?” “There’s no one I trust more,” he said.

“I can think of better ways to fill the moments,”

“I’ve never seen anythin’ so perfect,” he told me.

“Do you know how many times I’ve imagined fucking you?”

“Holy god,” he uttered. Only he was looking at me, like I was some divine entity.

“I wish I could draw you,” she murmured sleepily. “I’d be able to get it right this time.” He frowned. “You must miss it,” he said. “Art, I mean.” A pause. “A little.” “I’ll find you some supplies,” he said immediately. “You can paint and draw until your fingers fall off.”

“She was a fool,” and, “I’m sorry,” and, “Thank you.” “For what?” she asked, her lips a hairsbreadth from his. “For giving me that piece of yourself,” he said. “I swear to you, I’ll look after it.”

“Because you’ve been stuck in my head for thirteen long years,” he said. “And now that you’re here, I can’t bring it upon myself to see you leave.” He lifted her then, clear off the floor, and her screeching laughter tinkled down the tunnel as he pressed his forehead to hers. “I’m in love with you, I’m afraid.”

“There might be things I can’t tell you,” he said. “There might be secrets. But I’ll never lie to you, Nina. And I promise I’ll love you as well as I can.”