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She holds her opposite hand up, pinky finger extended. “Pinky swear.” “Pinky swear?” This encounter just keeps getting stranger. “Yes. Pinky swear to me that you will call me if there’s a problem.” I hold my pinky up with a deep chuckle. “You know these aren’t legally binding, right?” Her finger curls around mine as her eyes point like arrows in my direction. “I know, but only a total asshole breaks a pinky promise.” The woman is dead serious. And I’m too off-kilter to deny her.
Truth be told, I hang on every word out of Tabitha Garrison’s mouth.
I’ve faced off in my fair share of brawls, and something tells me Tabitha Garrison would be the fight of my life if I ever decided to go toe-to-toe with her.
It’s this inexplicable connection to her and to the little boy in this town that keeps me from walking away.
I drop my chin, and a smile curves my lips. Because I’m pretty sure that—in her own way—Tabitha Garrison was just nice to me.
Rhys Dupris is the carnival ride that I just can’t manage to get off of.
Oh. She conflicts all right, but for some confounding reason, it doesn’t bother me at all. That’s what’s new.
My eyes fill, and my head nods as I watch him go back to drawing like he didn’t just eviscerate me with the simplest sentence in the world. It makes me realize that I’d do anything for him. Even marry a woman who can’t stand me. One who I can’t stop thinking about.
Over the past weeks, it’s become clear that the only person looking out for Tabitha is Tabitha. And fuck if it doesn’t make me want to look out for her too. If there’s no one else to take up her cause, it might as well be her husband.
“You look incredible.” Because I can’t help myself. And because it’s true.
Still, I can’t help but wonder if he’s as confused by this ceremony as I am. Because yes, I’ve kissed plenty of men. But none of them have felt like that.
We shake. And his expression is just as sincere as it was when we spoke our wedding vows.
Everything comes back to her. My head keeps circling back to her. My body keeps moving toward her. And it’s instinctual. If I could stop it, I would. I’ve tried.
And I make way too much. Just in case he’s hungry again later.
Im crying rn
But more than that, it makes me feel like we’re really fucking lucky to be stuck with Rhys.
Tabitha cooks the best fucking meals I’ve ever had in my life,
Because I love my work, but I’m starting to love being here too.
We’re feeling complicated and inevitable all at once.
No, I feel electric. With Rhys holding me, I feel no sadness.
I like to maintain my privacy. It hits me then that Rhys isn’t in the habit of sharing these things with anyone. He’s built an entire career on keeping a front of complete anonymity. Of becoming another person when that camera turns on. And yet, here he is blurring all those lines. With me. In his own quiet way, it feels like Rhys has given me a gift. Given me a peek behind the mask. Given me his trust.
“Her name is Tabitha, not that you need to know. Because you? You’re going to keep my wife’s name out of your fucking mouth.”
As a mom, I feel bad for her too. It makes me realize she’s played this role in our lives for years now. The carrier pigeon. The eternal sunshine—even though I know she’s a scrappy little bitch at heart.
Right now, things are not simple. But the way I’ve come to feel about her is.
“I wish you weren’t seeing me like this.” My brow furrows. “Like what?” “At my worst.” I tip my head toward her. “Then it’s all uphill from here, baby. It’s going to make seeing you at your best so damn special.”
All I know is no one has ever looked at me the way Tabitha Garrison does.
No one has ever put a room together for me. But Tabitha did.
He kept the truth from me. He came back for me. He’s sacrificed for me repeatedly, and I can’t for the life of me see what I’ve done to deserve that loyalty from him. He tells me almost nothing with his words, but everything with his actions.
I felt my hold on my idealized version of Erika slip through my fingers as I cried in Rhys’s arms. I’d been so keen to grip it hard, to make her story into something more palatable than it was. Did she hurt people? Or was she wonderful? I’d realized she could be both things at once and that my memories of her didn’t have to be all sunshine and rainbows for me to still love her.
reason. Like we’ve been holding ourselves back. And right now, I can’t think of a single reason to hold back anymore. Sure, he could hurt me. But after everything, something tells me Rhys would do anything in his power to keep me from feeling any pain.
We’ve kissed in anger. We’ve kissed to taunt. We’ve kissed for show. But we’ve never kissed like this.
I’ve always kept myself locked up tight. But I’ve never had a Tabitha. Someone so fierce and loyal on my side. I’ve watched the way she is since first meeting her. Protective and always looking out for her family. It seemed so foreign to me, like something I could witness from afar but never have for myself.
Does love start off as obsession? Because that’s what I am. Obsessed with my wife.
And I don’t think it’s the wedding ring that sits warm and heavy on my ring finger. It’s him.
The simplicity of our coats hanging beside each other gives me the most smitten thrill.
Maybe that chakra shit is real, and I healed him with the magic of my pussy.
“So fucking pretty like this. Sucking my dick like your life depends on it.”
She loves me. It feels like a piece of my puzzle finally slips into place, the satisfaction of completion making me feel more whole than I could have imagined.
I search her face, hoping to memorize every detail. The slope of her nose, the angle of her eyebrows, the swoop of the bow shape on her top lip. How can I encompass all the things she’s done for me in a thank-you? Especially when there’s still a tiny voice in my head that tells me I don’t deserve her. Or this happiness. The troubled little boy in me rears his head now and then, wanting me to question everything I’ve earned. He reminds me that good things don’t usually last. But with Tabitha, it’s just a little bit easier to move past that voice. “Turning my life from black and white to full
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Crying over an injury didn’t seem worthwhile. But crying over driving away the best thing that’s ever happened to me seems like a worthy cause.
It reminds me of what we’ve been through. It makes my throat ache with how much I love him. And it gives me the boost I need to walk back in there with my composure fully intact.
She points across the room. “And when you’re done stewing in whatever feelings you’re feeling right now, I will be there. Just like you were there for me. This is who we are now.” Her eyes are so fierce, she pierces me with them. “This is what you do when you love somebody. And I have every intention of loving you just as thoroughly as I know you love me. You just have to let me.” Her voice cracks, and my chest shatters.
“Because even at your worst, I still love you, Rhys. Just try not to be an asshole when I get back, ’kay? Because I am coming back, and this tantrum is annoying.”
“Life is all just shades of gray. People are shades of gray. You. Me. Rhys. Mom and Dad. No one is perfect. I think Milo might be pure light. For now, anyway. But I’m sure he’ll disappoint me one day.” I snort. “After all, he’s related to us. And god knows you and I aren’t perfect. But you know what? That’s okay. That’s just… being human. I don’t think I’ve ever known someone more unapologetically human than you. You did some bad shit, but you did some really incredible shit too. You left me…”
