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The grudge I’ve been carrying against Rhys this entire time evaporates on the spot. The one he’s been letting me throw in his face, even knowing it was unfounded. And all that’s left in its wake is an all-consuming agony. I should have noticed the subtle changes in her. I should have swept in sooner. I should have known better. The heavy weight of realizing I’m the one who failed her is unbearable. For the first time since my sister’s death, I cry.
I felt my hold on my idealized version of Erika slip through my fingers as I cried in Rhys’s arms. I’d been so keen to grip it hard, to make her story into something more palatable than it was. Did she hurt people? Or was she wonderful? I’d realized she could be both things at once and that my memories of her didn’t have to be all sunshine and rainbows for me to still love her.