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“What’s the book about?” “Mafia. It’s called Temptation.” “Sold.”
“You’re not married, right? There’s no Mrs. Scary Guy in a Sexy-ass Suit?”
Keller looked at the ceiling of the in-house gym and closed his eyes. “If this building caved in right now, it wouldn’t be soon enough.”
“Hell fucking yes! Dude! She’s freaking gorgeous. Look at her!” I turned the page so he could see. Keller’s face never changed. “Yes, I’m aware of the way that she looks. I printed the pages.”
I would propose to this pie. I would marry this pie without a prenup even though I knew that it would break my lactose-intolerant heart. And as I ride the porcelain throne while in the worst pain of my life, it will all be worth it. Because that, my dear sweet Meg, is the best pie I’ve ever had.”
Meg will think about this interaction for the rest of her fictional life
the guy had the personality of a hyperactive dolphin.
“You can count on one thing. I take my job seriously, and I am a professional.” Music jingled from outside. “Hell yeah! Ice cream truck!”
“But my lunch—” Miles scooped up the plate and tucked the fork behind his ear like a pencil. “I need to add emergency forks to the Annie Pack. You never know when there might be pie.”
“It’s just a sex scene,” I said quietly. “A pretty tame one.” Miles pointed to a particular sentence. “Why are his balls seizing? Why are the bosoms heaving?” He groaned. “It’s like they’re having a medical episode. Someone call those two a doctor.”
if anyone was ever curious about what kim and I sound like when we read together, its this
“Cole Crowder. Former Navy SEAL, built like a commercial refrigerator,
“Go read some non-fiction.” They gasped like I had just told them to jump off a bridge into a pit of alligators.
Bridget looked up at him and beamed. “This is my husband, Chase.”
BRIDGET AND CHASE MENTION STOP ILL CRY
Chase and Bridget smiled knowingly at each other. Chase turned back to me. “If I were a betting man, I’d say it’ll happen sooner rather than later.”
Maggie you do cameos like no one else can even dream of
He took Bridget’s hand, linking their fingers together. “Who you wanna see next, darlin’?”
brb gonna go stare at Betting Man again
“You thought I was dead?” She shrugged. “You go all radio-silent when you’re on a job. I just assume that one of the hot guys you work with will show up one day and do a family notification. I’ll be devastated and hysterical and they’ll have no choice but to console me. The wedding will be beautiful, and you’ll be sort of missed.”
emma, you're just like the rest of us
“He wants you.” Her cheeks turned bright red. “He does not. Jordan’s just friendly.” “I’m friendly. He wants to fuck you.” I wanted to fuck her too, but that was entirely beside the point.
“Ophelia has a hedgehog?” “Yeah. His name is Quilliam Shakespeare.”
“Come back anytime. Come back as Annie. Come back as Whitney. Come back as my grandson’s wife. I don’t care. You pick.”
“You can’t be freaking out right now. What’s the rule?” “Only one person can freak out at a time.” “Annie’s probably freaking out right now,” she said. “So, I’m sorry to say that you’ll just have to wait your turn.”
He had been wearing a respirator at the apartment. This was the first time I got a good look at his face. Ew. We definitely weren’t going with Stockholm syndrome. No way I could fake that.
Jay (aka Real-Life Miles who walked into Starbucks last summer wearing swim trunks to meet an internet date for the first time): You immediately made me think, “This guy has main character energy.” I hope your pink drinks are always cold and that your date went well.
i officially want every author in the world to include the inspiration for their characters. this made me smile
