The Off-Limits Rule

by Sarah Adams

I don’t want to go sit by Cooper because I wasn’t expecting the sexiest man alive to be joining us on this boating adventure today, and so I have the legs of a woolly mammoth. Also, I had every intention of scaring off whatever horrid, sweaty, greasy, snaggly friend Drew brought out with us, so I wore the most wholesome and frumpy one-piece the world has ever seen. It’s bad, friends. Real bad.

He nods, and I nod, and it’s all settled now. I’ll stay away from Lucy. — Except I don’t.

“Who says reading can’t be fun?”

“Oh, I’m squarely in the bookish category. I never even attempt to flirt because it always ends badly.”

Okay, yeah, I’m freaking out a little because Cooper hasn’t texted at all! And I’ve been racking my brain every day for these past two weeks, wondering why he never responded to my text. It was a nice text, a heartfelt message that went something like this: Aw, great video! Super fun day. Good, right? If only I’d left it at that. But then I just had to go and text him again because I’m not a normal human and should just hide in a hole for the rest of my life.

I’ve come to terms with the fact that in a room full of designer brands, I’ll always be a Target. I love Target.

I want to tell Drew all of this. I want to tell him I want to watch The Holiday with Lucy. Explain that I don’t know how to interact with kids, but I’m ready to learn. I would never string Lucy along, especially given her circumstances in life. I wouldn’t be bringing this up tonight if I wasn’t serious about my intentions.

Lucy is officially off-limits. I know I need to get her out of my head, but I can’t.

I’m only a hundred and twenty seconds into this date and already I need a reprieve from acting normal. Normal is exhausting.

“You made the promise to my brother before talking to me first. This is the twenty-first century, Cooper. You should have told me you were interested first, and then we could have talked to Drew together. You can’t just make decisions for a woman anymore—not unless you’re dressed up in a hot, 1800s gentleman’s outfit with a cravat and waistcoat…then I might make an exception.”

When my gaze reaches her face again, Lucy’s lips are slightly parted, and her eyes are…you guessed it, wide. She snaps her mouth shut, swallows, and then proclaims, “I’m wearing hideous underwear.” And this, ladies and gentlemen, is one of the reasons I’m falling for Lucy.

“LUCY!” Cooper yells from somewhere past the cardboard tower. “You got some ‘splainin’ to do!” Ladies and gentlemen, if you are looking for Cooper’s fault, I have found it. He uses this I Love Lucy joke more times than anyone ever should.

His hand flexes like the sexiest scene ever filmed (aka the Darcy hand flex from Pride and Prejudice…you know what I’m talking about) and the room heats to eighty million degrees.