–Dad: I know what I want for my birthday. I want a baby. Although the text is coming from Dad’s number, it isn’t really from him. It’s Joey, his assistant, who should know better than to ask for an infant. The FBI needs to toss him in jail without a phone or Internet access for soliciting baby trafficking. –Me: Buying a baby to hand out as a gift is illegal. Didn’t you consult Dad’s lawyers about that?
