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Running is therapy. At least that’s what I tell myself. Over and over and over again. This is good for you. Don’t quit. Keep going. This is hell. I’m literally going to die. Why am I doing this to myself? Can I stop now? I’m going to stop. And I often do stop and try and catch my breath until some other jogger blasts past me and then my ultra-competitiveness kicks in and I end up running after them. Sometimes I can’t catch up but at least it gets my legs moving again. Other times I run past them with a nonchalant look on my face, ponytail swinging behind me like running is super fun, super
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same girl
I’m not socially awkward, but to be honest, most people are total morons, and my tolerance for them isn’t very high. Some have patience. I do not. And
Let’s say three percent pick it up out of curiosity, or maybe there are open-minded readers who like a bit of smut to get off to, a fun way to pass the time, while they also read memoirs and history books and fantasy and who else knows what. You don’t know. People have different tastes and like a range of different things, and having those three percent because of our smut is better than having zero, don’t you think?”
“I can’t believe you made a business plan about writing smut,” I
Thank god for e-readers. You can read the filthiest shit and pretend you’re engrossed in War and Peace.
I’ve never understood people who return books after they’ve obviously read them. “Oh no, that dog-eared page was there when I bought it.” Like hell it was. How about I punch you in the bloody face and tell you that bruise was there before and then we’ll call it even.
My mother gets up and gives me a light hug. She smells like Chanel and disappointment.
“I’m better at writing things out than saying them.” “Oh, you mean you’re socially awkward and prone to saying the wrong thing all the time? You don’t say.”
“We’ve got some smut to write,” I tell him, taking out my computer. “A world of horny women is depending on us.”
Thankfully I remember which door is the bathroom and I don’t disturb Satan’s hamster.
