Split or Swallow (Split or Swallow, #1)

by Lindsay Straube

“You already know you’re beautiful, don’t you?” Tem had only been called beautiful once, by Caspen. And yet his word had made her believe it, so she answered honestly: “Yes.” “In that case, would you even care to hear it from me?” Again, she spoke the truth: “No.” The cruel smile slipped from his face. Definitely not used to being defied. “Then I won’t burden you with it.” “How considerate of you.”

“There’s no need to be rude,” she hissed. “I know there’s no need. I’m rude because I want to be.”

“You made it clear you don’t want me to call you beautiful. Why shouldn’t I call you ugly?” “Because it’s a lie.”

she marched right up to him, grabbed his face, and kissed him. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t Caspen. But it was a kiss, and she needed it, and Leo kissed her back without hesitation, pulling her against him as if he’d been expecting this from her all along. And maybe he had. Leo was a good kisser. Frustratingly so. The rest of the party disappeared as his fingers tangled in her hair, arching her head back to meet his lips. His tongue dove into her mouth with expert rhythm, sliding against hers and coaxing a tiny moan from the back of her throat. She prayed he didn’t hear it. But from the way his grip tightened, she knew that he had. Suddenly her back was against the column. Leo’s hands were moving lower. The kiss was barely appropriate anymore, and Tem had a sudden vision of Jonathan and Vera groping each other at the Horseman.

Tem pulled away. Leo let her go, but just barely. He was holding her so tightly that their lips were still touching as he whispered: “That wasn’t so bad, now was it?” People were staring; Tem felt as if she were in a fishbowl.

“Ah,” he said. “Of course. The farm.” For some reason, it seemed like her answer amused him. “Something funny?” Tem prompted. “Certainly not,” he rearranged his expression until it resembled neutrality. “I just can’t picture you on a farm.” His eyes went to her breasts. They’d been going there all night, but now they lingered. “Surprising,” Tem shot back, “considering you act like a pig.” Leo let out another deep laugh. The meaner she was to him, the more he seemed to enjoy himself. “I can’t help it if I like what I see.” “You’re only seeing it because you chose this dress.”

“Tem,” he said quietly, “You were the most beautiful girl in the room that night. I never should have ranked you last. It was just another way to lie, and I’m sorry I did it.”

“Life’s no fun when you behave.”

“I think you like me, but you don’t know why. You want me, but you wish you didn’t. You’re used to getting what you want, but part of you likes that you can’t get me.” His other eyebrow rose. “Can’t I?” “No,” Tem said firmly. “Not until you’ve earned me.” His eyes flicked down her body, then back up again. “And you think you’re worth earning?” Tem held his gaze. “You think I’m worth earning.”

“I’m not going to kiss you,” he said. Tem was too shocked to react properly. “Why not?” He stepped closer. “Because if I kiss you, I’ll try to take you upstairs. And you’re not going to let me.” Tem opened her mouth but he kept talking: “And you were right. I’m not used to hearing the word ‘no’. And I don’t want to hear it from you. Certainly not after I had to see you in this dress—” he brushed his fingertips along her waist so lightly she almost didn’t notice until it was over, “—all fucking evening.” “You chose it,” she whispered. “Apparently I’m partial to torture.”

“I don’t need to fuck you,” she said softly, her lips grazing his throat. “I don’t even need to take my clothes off. You want me so badly you’d marry me just for the chance to see me naked. Am I wrong?”

Mine. Only mine. Tem nodded eagerly. Yours. Only yours. His hiss of approval reverberated around the room.

Tem moaned as he teased her clitoris and penetrated her center at the same time. Realization hit her like a bolt of lightning. His tongue had split.

All the times he’d been teaching her how to seduce the prince, he’d also been learning how to seduce her. He knew everything about her body; he knew how and where she liked to be touched, and how long to do it for. And she knew the same.

“I assume you’ve slept together,” Leo continued without missing a beat. “Care to tell me what I have to look forward to?” Tem’s mouth fell open.

“And what do you know of human men?” Another pause. Caspen’s eyes locked onto Leo’s, and Tem felt a tangible shift in the energy of the room as he said: “That they are easily satisfied.”

“This is not just a necklace,” he said softly. “Then what is it?” Caspen paused, his fingers stroking the charm. “It is…a gesture of intent.” Tem frowned. “Intent to what?” His eyes found hers. “To marry you.”

“How long have you loved me?” Caspen held her gaze as he whispered: “Far longer than you have loved me.”

“I am not angry with you. I am angry with myself. I should have known better. I am the one who gave in to temptation. That is what I mean when I say I am weak.” “Temptation? Is that what I am?” His grip tightened on her shoulders. “Temptation, salvation, heaven, hell. You are everything, Tem. You are my undoing. You are beyond comprehension. There are no sufficient words to describe you, either in my language or yours.”

“I am undone by you,” he said. “I crave your scent, your skin, your voice. I think about you all the time, to the point of destruction. You are unbearably overwhelming. I cannot resist you no matter how hard I try.”

“Daddy issues,” Gabriel said knowingly. “Sexy.”

“Flirting with you is a pleasure. And a compulsion. One that, if I’m being truly honest, I doubt I can stop.”

I know what it is to have an occupied heart, Leo had said. It was horrible, is what it was. Tem did not want to feel this way for two people—did not want to split herself in two.

Tem had no choice but to comprehend the most fundamental thing that now rang true: her heart was in two places, and things would not be easy for her. Leo. And Caspen. She loved them both.

Caspen was in her veins. He was in her blood, in her mind, in her soul. He was the breath in her lungs; he was her tether to life. Caspen was everything. So why did he make her feel so empty?

Caspen sighed as if this was very difficult for him. “I love you.” His words should have been a soothing balm. Instead they were a cage—a trap that Tem would not fall for once again. “I know you do,” she said firmly. “And it does not help me.” She meant it. Nothing about Caspen’s feelings helped her—his love for her did not remedy her family’s reputation, his love for her did not solve her infatuation with Leo, his love for her did not ensure her future. Caspen’s love for her fixed exactly nothing, and Tem was utterly tired of that fact.

“If you think the human prince matters to me, then you are sorely mistaken.” The human prince. It was clear now. Tem saw, finally, how Caspen viewed Leo: not as competition, but as nothing but a nuisance. Leo didn’t even rank in the grand scale of Caspen’s worries. What could a human prince do in the face of a basilisk one?

“He may have made you wet, but I will make you come.”

“I want you all to myself. I don’t want to share. I want my name to be the only thing on your lips and I want my cum dripping out of you.”

“I know you have always doubted my intentions,” he said. “And I don’t blame you, considering my past. But know this: I will never do anything to hurt you.” He leaned in. “Know this also: I want you. And I know that’s not what you want to hear. And I know you don’t want me back—at least, not enough to justify betraying whatever connection you have with him. But I cannot live without you. Even if it means I only have some part of you—that is far preferable to no part of you at all.”

“I’d rather have half of you than all of Vera. Even if it means sharing you for the rest of my life.” Tem stared at him. Had Leo just…proposed? Before she could process this, he spoke again: “I know you belong to him, Tem. And I know I want you anyway.”

Now Tem understood. Leo was willing to do this, but only on one condition. Her. Caspen let out a dry snicker. Leo held up his hand. “I do not expect you to stop seeing each other. I am not so naive to think that your bond could be ignored. Love demands to be felt.”

“I understand that basilisks live very long lives. You will have nearly an eterni⁠t⁠y together.” His gaze moved to Tem, and his next words were a whisper: “I just…want you while I can have you.”

“I know my time with you is somewhat borrowed,” Leo said quietly. “And I know that I will never have all of you. But Tem,” he paused, looking her right in the eye. “It is without ego that I say your presence in my life has changed me immeasurably. You are headstrong. And stubborn. And infuriatingly difficult to please.” She smiled at that one. Leo continued: “You are also courageous. And irresistible. And you invariably make me a better person, even when I struggle to return the favor. In short, you are too good for me. But I’m asking for you anyway.” Tears were coming. She didn’t bother holding them back. “I am greedy when it comes to you, Tem. I want every moment you’re willing to give me. Even if our marriage offers me nothing but the opportunity to humble myself before you, it would be worth it to spend what’s left of my life in your presence.” He opened the box. “Would you do me the honor of being my queen?” They were beautiful words. And they were all for her. Tem had only one word for him in return: “Yes.”

“It was my mother’s,” Leo offered. “We will get you a proper jewel, if you wish. But I didn’t want to propose with gold.” Tem looked at her finger. The ring was polished silver, not unlike the ring she used to wear for special occasions. It was not flashy or excessive or boisterous. And it was not made from the blood of her people. It was perfect.