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The strangest wave of recognition washes through Arthur, even though he’s sure he’s never met the squire before. Maybe the jewelry just reminds him of Shae. Or something about the way the boy carries himself.
Not since he said goodbye, again, to his parents.
He thought that throwing away his pendant would break his connection to Vara’s power. Instead, his magic feels stronger than ever before, and he has the guidance he’s prayed for: Vara’s Radiance, spurring him forward. He’s doing the right thing. He just hopes it’s not too late.
He’s so cold himself that the newly dead bodies would naturally be warmer than him.
He can’t fix anything if he’s dead. Whatever the risk, he has to take it. Hands shaking, Shae unfastens the silver feather from his right lobe. Drops it on the ground next to the one-eyed bandit’s corpse. It’s easier than Shae thought it would be. The last protective wall crumbles from his soul with barely a whisper of sensation. Shae covers the dead man’s mouth with his palm, and closes his eyes.
Intoxicating. He should have done this years ago.
The memory should hurt, but it doesn’t now. All that matters is the two graves behind the house. Perhaps he can take one last gift from them, as recompense for leaving him.
Another thought briefly crosses his mind. Why does he need to banish Izen now? He’s not afraid of the power anymore. He feels so much better now that he’s given in. Maybe he should kill Izen instead, to make sure nobody else can ever banish him and rob Shae of his newfound strength. Or he could join with Izen, work together to become even more powerful, consume even more, and kill anyone who ever tries to stop them.
Whenever he turns the wrong direction, whether through confusion or a turn in the road, the warmth inside him fades. It surges like wildfire when he’s on the right path again.
Magic glitters in the air around and above them as Arthur walks, until they’re encircled in a barely visible dome of shimmering gold. It’s stronger than the wards Arthur’s used before. Shae waits until he feels the warmth of Arthur’s magic wash through him, then starts taking off his rings.
He drops the first ring to the ground. The one that detects ghosts. Then the one that detects demons. The rings fall to the ground with barely a sound, and Shae’s hands stay steady, the same steadiness he relies on when closing dead eyes and laying bodies to rest. The last three all have the same purpose. Silver bands set with ruby and onyx and jade, all enchanted to hide his soul from scrying. Shae tears them from his fingers and flings them aside. Remnants of magic shiver over his skin.
The corpses can’t enter the ward. No, it’s more than just a ward spell. It’s a full shield protecting them, and Arthur’s never cast such a powerful spell before. He feels giddy with the power coursing through him, even as he keeps a close eye on the corpses.
He’ll carry this darkness with him the rest of his life.
“I don’t care. I can live with this power,” Shae says quietly. “I’ve done it for ten years. And I think I’ve been lying to myself that I’d be okay, and everyone would stop hating me, if I just got rid of it. Nothing’s that simple, right?” He leans in for a brief breath of a kiss, then whispers, “I can live with this power, but I don’t want to live without you.”
Arthur doesn’t need an organization that’s more concerned with looking good than doing good. He doesn’t need an organization that wants to force him to choose between faith and love, when he knows his god wants him to have both. His contract with Vara doesn’t depend on the order after all, and it’s stronger than ever now that he’s making his own choices.
Shae gasps into Arthur’s lips, opens up to a deeper kiss, and forgets that he was ever cold.
Ever since the events a month ago, the cold hasn’t come on as quickly as it used to. He still hasn’t figured out whether that’s due to the array breaking or Izen dying—his connection to one or both of them must have been more of a drain on his soul than he thought.
