Watching their father be erased with the incoming tide made them cling faster to me in a way, and that sense, I suppose, of one’s lineage or history. In any case it took me some time to accept not only the gift but also the fact that there was something missing for them. I sent the saliva sample away at last. I was surprised by how anxious I became in waiting, an anxiety I couldn’t define, and then the results came by mail. The pie chart of my alleged ancestry woke up something in me I hadn’t even known was in slumber, a deep and hidden thing. I admit I wept over it.
