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I tripped over a skull. I knelt to examine what made me stumble, and although I couldn’t see a thing, I could feel the gaping eye sockets, could run my fingers over smooth, weathered bone. When I asked Uncle Jim what it was, he said, “Just a rock.” Even at the age of five, I wasn’t that easy to fool.
When you’re petrified on a daily basis as a child, there aren’t many things left to fear as an adult. Except, perhaps, awkward conversations.
I wish they’d go back to the city and leave us the hellfuck alone.
“What in the hellfuck?” I say as the three of us race toward the source of the chaos.
HELLFUCK... I am so stealing this.
The lie triggers a jolt of guilt. But I made Jim a promise a long time ago that I would never reveal, not to a single living soul, that I possess the power to incite, and I don’t plan on breaking that promise today.
I’m not a believer that the Old Era was any better than this new one. Or at least, I’m not sure how it could be, given that it led to global destruction.
The boy she’d spoken so proudly of had betrayed his own mother and reported her for concealment.
Elite candidates are handpicked by me, and my selection process is none of your godfucking business.”
I have to remind myself that she is a product of her upbringing. Her mother works for the Company. Her father, the Command. She was raised to hate and fear me. But it still hurts a little.
I’ve always been alone. Even with Jim in my life, the loneliness never abated. I wish I had parents. I wish I had a mother to comfort me and tell me I’ll survive this. A father to tuck me in and tell me he’ll stay with me until I fall asleep.
When he speaks, the words are hoarse and regretful. “As much as I want this, we both know now’s not the time.”
Yes, she likes to gossip, but her heart is enormous.
Enormous enough to not care that you're a mod?
Sometime around Section 5, I start to wonder if I’m addicted to adrenaline.
“So what he’s saying is we need to think before we act and exercise more patience?” Kaine heaves a dramatic sigh. “That sounds so tedious.”
We’re both suitably chastised. Ugh. I hate it when Ford is right. Turns him into such a smug bastard.
I try to ease out of his grip. “You’re hurting me.” He’s not. “No, I’m not.” His laughter heats my cheek. “You’re not timid or weak, Dove. You’re a firestorm, and you’re going to burn everything in your path if you don’t learn how to restrain yourself.”
“I’m not like this with women,” he mutters. “I don’t chase. I don’t fucking beg.” He groans. “But you…You make me want to break down your defenses.”
Who invented jogging? Is this not something we could have left behind in the Old Era?
“I told them you were innocent,” Jordan says, and I have no idea what I did to earn the conviction ringing in his voice. I’m not that good in bed.
This role is growing on me. I’m starting to feel like I’m actually Gilly, whose friend Olive from G is pregnant with her partner Jessa’s baby.
I LOVE THIS DETAIL.
But I don’t want to. It feels so good here in his lap. He’s warm and hard and kissing my neck. I want to stay here forever, and I hate myself for it.
“You didn’t hear? Jordan was dispatched on a last-minute assignment. Headed for Red Post. Who knows when he’ll return. The post could last months. Years, even.” My jaw drops. “You sent him away?” “Yes.” “Why?” “Because he touched you this morning.”
I’m not supposed to be attracted to men like this. Possessive. Cocky. Ruthless. Yet the notion that I’d succeeded in triggering his jealousy sends a thrill shooting through me. “You were jealous,” I say. “Yes. It’s not an emotion I enjoy.” “I’m sorry.” “No, you’re not.” “You’re right. I’m not.”
“You know,” Ivy says, “you come off as this coldhearted bitch—” “Thanks.” “—yet you have a pathetic amount of compassion.”
“In all the time you’ve known me—I sure as hell spend enough time in this damn office—I’m surprised you haven’t figured out by now what matters to me.” “Yeah?” He raises a brow. “And what matters to you?” “Loyalty.”
As I race to the door, I pray to a god I’m not allowed to believe in that this never happens to me.
But a gilded cage is still a cage.
The last thing I’m thinking about is the General’s ridiculous Silver Jubilee. Who wants to celebrate twenty-five years of that man’s iron fist up our asses? Everyone here.
There’s something incredibly thrilling about the notion that I helped create chaos.
Memories of eternal snow. When the wind turns against you. A single second.
Trusting someone with my entire being. Ripping my chest open and letting them see inside. All the dark, ugly, twisted parts. All my secrets and fears and crippling insecurities. Showing them every part of me without fear of judgment or betrayal. But the world doesn’t allow for such luxuries.
It’s the youngest I’ve felt my entire life. Even as a child, I felt like an adult. I hate that Cross Redden, of all people, brings out this side of me.
could have bought you synthetic flowers. A nice little bouquet in a vase of water. But that’s not you.” He gestures to the flowers that are practically exploding from the cave walls. “This is you. Wild. Mysterious.” I laugh. Yet part of me is melting. This is the most romantic thing a man has ever done for me.
Either I’m completely crazy, or Cross’s mother is Modified.
A shock wave rocks my body as I realize I’m staring at a scene that was described to me before. Many times. By Wolf.
KNEW IT
It can’t be. There’s no way Cross Redden is Wolf. There’s no conceivable way that could be possible.
But the idea that I could be kissing Wolf right now elicits a thrill. A rush of joy I didn’t see coming. The realization hits me hard and fast. I want him to be Wolf.
Yours is the only life that matters. I will rip anyone’s throat out, burn the entire fucking world down, if it means keeping you safe and—”
My body feels weak as I’m struck with a bleak, depressing truth. I think I might be a monster. I made a woman kill herself. How are those not the actions of a monster?
I try not to roll my eyes. Isn’t that what all great tyrants say? Oh, I didn’t want this. Please take all my burdensome power away.
“We spent our whole lives loving each other from a distance. We can do it for a little while longer.”
