And yet…I see how limited that hope was. She couldn’t dream for him beyond survival. Because she didn’t just teach him sewing: This was her way, and I didn’t know it at the time, of earning love. In her effort to keep us safe, she taught us we were only as loved as we made people feel, and the only way to prove our worth was to show our value to others. Knowing how to sew gave us opportunities and security, but in the end, it was still bartering. My mother would teach me so much, but this was another lesson it would take me almost my whole life to unlearn. —
