The Courage to Be Disliked: The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness

by Ichiro Kishimi

Children do not have any obvious duties, like paying taxes or going to work. They are protected by their parents and society, and can spend days free from care. They can imagine a future that goes on forever and do whatever they want. They don’t have to see grim reality—they are blindfolded. So, to them the world must have a simple form.

His romantic view will end and be replaced by cruel realism.

Once grown up, the child will get entangled in all kinds of complicated relationships with people and have all kinds of responsibilities thrust upon

For example, Dale Carnegie, who wrote the international bestsellers How to Win Friends and Influence People and How to Stop Worrying and Start Living,

“teleology.”

This is the difference between etiology (the study of causation) and teleology (the study of the purpose of a given phenomenon, rather than

its cause). Everything you have been telling me is based in etiology. As long as we stay in etiology, we will not take a single step forward.

“No experience is in itself a cause of our success or failure. We do not suffer from the shock of our experiences—the so-called trauma—but instead we make out of them whatever suits our purposes. We are not determined by our experiences, but the meaning we give them is self-determining.”

We determine our own lives according to the meaning we give to those past experiences. Your life is not something that someone gives you, but something you choose yourself, and you are the one who decides how you