Resisting the Alien Rider (Cowboy Colony Mail-Order Brides, #3)

by Ursa Dax

I’d let her urinate on me if she wanted to.

Umm

I tried to ignore the fact that I was now rather pathetically envious of Killian, disappointed that Magnolia had not also referred to me as sweetened piss.

Well🙄

“Human children use dead, stuffed creatures as… as their playthings?”

😅😅😅

“What are you doing?” Killian asked me, cocking his head in confusion at my uncharacteristic clumsiness. Oh, nothing. Just casually losing my mind.

Casual

Killian hesitated for a moment. Then, he cupped his hands and gathered some water in them. He lifted them together, his brow crinkled with concentration, and then gingerly let the water dribble from his hands onto my hair.

That’s so sweet

I wasn’t spying. I was supervising. That’s what I told myself as I lurked between the shadowy shields of two conveniently-placed trees.

Mhm

“That means you,” I added helpfully. I patted the ground beside me. “Come on down and let me have a look at your ears.” “That’s… That can’t be necessary.” Garrek’s eyes flashed white.

😂😂😂😂😂😂 the ears

“My ears are sensitive,” he muttered.

😂😭😂😭😂😅

“Why don’t you tell me what the most sensitive place on your body is?” he hissed. “And then I can poke it to gauge the severity of your reaction.”

Dying

Garrek caught my eyes, no doubt noted the laughter in them, frowned, and told me, “I’m thirty-six cycles. Not one hundred.”

IM NOT OLD

“If you’re ready to give me any useful suggestions instead of saying nonsense words like cucumboner, I’m listening.”

Lmaooooooo

At least, he was still until he made a fist and punched the spider thing right in the middle of its… face?

Yes punch it that’ll do it

“Your chance to start again?” “My chance to find love.” “Love. Here.” Garrek raised a sardonic brow. “Among the convicted murderers of the Zabrian Empire.”

Cute and hahaha

“Because you need them, Magnolia!” He twisted so abruptly and violently to face me that I fell flat on my ass. “You have a whole life to live with Oaken after you leave me!” His eyes seared me.

Yikes

I’ve never seen anything like the landscapes here. It all feels so untamed and wild.” I could show you more of the wild places of this world. I could take you anywhere you wanted.

😭😭😭

From the side, I saw her smile, and I briefly felt time halt. “Always a romance book,” she said, turning that smile on me. “You could… You could tell me about it. If you want.” Stupid. So colossally stupid.

Awwww

But get this.” She wiggled in her saddle, shivering with glee. “The farmer turns out to be her boyfriend’s older brother! Gah!” Dramatic gasps. That’s what she said her old friend had done. I opened my mouth and sucked in a big breath. Unfortunately, I also inhaled an insect.

Dying

“We could kill him,” Killian said suddenly. His eyes blazed in the low evening light. “She can’t go with him if he’s dead. And then she’ll need us. To keep taking care of her.” What in the blazes… “We can’t kill him, Killian,” I groaned. “That is absolutely not an option.”

Boy what 😭😭😂😂

We could even make it look like an accident!” He sounded nearly gleeful now, buzzing with optimism. “He’s already broken his foot, hasn’t he? Maybe he also tripped and fell down a gorge. Or off the edge of a cliff. Or-”

“It’s because we don’t deserve her,” he mumbled. “We aren’t good enough.” His mouth twisted, and he ducked his head so that his hair hid his face. “I’m not good enough. Maybe if I was, then she would want to make a family with us instead of Oaken.”

😭😭😭😭😭😭

“You think that I am happy?” I snarled. “You think that I want to give her up? When I said no to the bride program, I had no idea it could be her. If she were any other woman – any other woman, Killian! – I would not feel like my heart is being ripped up and out of my throat every time I so much as look at her!”

At the sound of my name, the boy’s white eyes flared. His lips drew back from his lips in a genka-like hiss. He looked like he was about to tackle me right off Fiora’s back. Delightfully strange child.

Lollll

“He was an idiot and said no to the bride program. But then he met her and he loves her now. And she loves us, too! At least, she loves me,” he said stubbornly. “She told me that I could have her shit in a bottle.”

What in a bottle now

But she did say something. Something so quiet that no one but a Zabrian with excellent hearing would catch it. It was my name. “She does love you.” Oaken said from behind me. “I did not encourage her,” I told him.

“All you have to do is put your arms around me,” I told him impatiently. “And then what?” he asked suspiciously. “And then we just… stand there.” “Doing a hug.” “Precisely.” “That… sounds stupid.” “I know,” I admitted. “But somehow, it isn’t.”

“Humans must stay hydrated. I read that in my book.”

Damn book

“Of course I am.” He swallowed, thick throat bobbing. “I heard your voice. I ran.”

“I learned,” he huffed on a hoarse breath, “about mating positions. And female erogenous zones. Like the clitohorses.”

😂😂😂😂😂😂

“The what?” “And your nip-holes.” Oh God.

“The tips of your… Blast, I forget the human word. Your… teats…” I have clitohorses, nip-holes, and teats now. Learn something new every damn day.

“I did not have it in me to call you sweet urine, human term of endearment or not.” He huffed out a breath. “I won’t do it. So don’t even ask.”

Noooooo🤣🤣🤣🤣

Awareness expanded with wakefulness, and I found the source of this novel bliss at once. Magnolia was in my arms. And she was naked. Because I had mated her.

Mated her huh

“Yes,” I grunted. “You know we plan to marry, don’t you? I’ve told you this.” “That doesn’t mean you should be sleeping with her!” Killian cried, as if shocked to the very core of his being at the idea. “And… Are you naked?!”

“No! There’s barely any room in that bedroll! She should not be subjected to your… your nudity this way!”

Killian glared, aimed a hostile tail-tip in the general vicinity of my covered genitalia, and imperiously sniped, “Absolutely horrendous.”

HORRENDOUS

Incoming Tablet Communication Darcy Dubois: You should have seen it, Cherry. He looked at me like I was yesterday’s bracku milk. Dark eyes for days. Then gets one look at Magnolia and it’s moon-eyes galore.

“I woke and you were gone,” he said, his breath sawing in and out of him. “I woke and thought…” “Thought what?” “I thought you’d changed your mind.”

I turned, sniffing hard, towards Oaken. In his hands he held a small glass jar which was filled with water and a few tufts of tall, green grass poking out from the top. “I read in the book the warden sent to my tablet that it is customary for a bride to have a bouquet,” he said.

“These are the same flowers that…” “That saved your life,” Oaken confirmed. My heart nearly stopped. They looked just like… Magnolias.