“I’m still low-key terrified of Shannon Horwedel from the third grade. She made fun of some white shorts my mom had washed with a red shirt and it turned them pink. She called me Pinky the whole rest of the school year and got all the rest of the kids to call me that too. I hate her to this day. I saw her once at the Grove and I did this tuck-and-roll thing behind a bush.”
