The hand thing made my heart do somersaults, but the protective thing—this was my currency. I didn’t get to shut my brain off very often. Most women don’t. The constant situational awareness that we have to practice is exhausting. But Xavier made me feel like I could mentally check out. I could just be here bopping around, enjoying being outside and surrounded by these eccentric weirdos and not have to worry about how safe I was because he wouldn’t let anything happen to me. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt like that with someone. Definitely with my dad, but not really with the men I
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