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“I am not fucking a pumpkin head in front of my window for my neighbour to watch.”
If your sex toys came imbued with sex magic, they should also come with a fucking manual.
Ewen burst into my house with a baseball bat cocked over his shoulder and a panicked look on his face. “Rafe?” he shouted, then stopped dead when he saw me through the doorway to the kitchen. Naked and squatting over a bowl of hot sauce with a pumpkin on my dick.
“I want to watch you fuck a pumpkin head.”
Shit, I wouldn’t be able to wait much longer before I insisted on getting a good look at his ass. Politely insisted.
“Can I please fuck the pumpkin head with you, Rafe?”
“But what if there’s another pumpkin head emergency?”
“I really like those glasses.” I flushed, reaching up to fiddle with them, not sure how to answer. “Uh, I—They’re just… for my eyes.” Immediately, I wanted to cringe.
I spent Monday morning before work sucking on a cucumber. It wasn’t something I’d ever expected to end up doing in my life, but here we were.
“Always—Be—Cupping. Don’t neglect the nuts, folks! Treat them like you’re a bisexual goblin king cradling two beautiful crystal balls.”
And something happened that never had before. I came so hard my head popped off.
“Did your head fall off?” he asked in disbelief. “Yeah,” I grumbled. “Came so hard it popped right off.” He bit his lip, so I huffed and rolled my eyes. “You can laugh.”
“Thanks, kitten.” “Has that happened before?” he asked. “Nope.” He smirked. “Nice.” Chuckling, I nuzzled his cheek. “Maybe it’s because you’re my boyfriend now. Officially, I mean. You’ve unlocked a new feature.”
