The Snowball Effect

by Haley Cass

Regan held up her hand. “No, no, the story isn’t over. This part is really interesting: imagine my even bigger surprise when your mom tells me that you and I are in a relationship!” There. Satisfied, she crossed her arms and nodded at Emma. “Now it’s your turn.”

Leaning back with a shrug, Regan answered honestly, “I like to talk about my problems. If you’re asking, I’m going to tell you.”

“Plus, you have this… quality,” Regan muttered, tilting her head to the side as she narrowed her eyes at Charlotte. “I kinda want to talk to you. How do you do that?” She demanded. A small smile tugged at one side of Charlotte’s mouth, even as she lifted her eyebrows. “It’s a practiced skill.”

“Thanks for this,” she said, seriously. “It really means a lot to me.” A small grin pulled at Charlotte’s mouth as she tilted her head in acknowledgment. “What else is the girlfriend-of-your-best-friend for?”

While Regan knew she would always fill a role in Sutton’s life, the position she’d held for nearly twenty years as Sutton’s Most Important Person was a title that Charlotte had snuck in and claimed for herself in the last year.

This makes me so sad though. Like yes it’s reality but it hurts

With that, she nodded, willing herself to get over that weird hiccup of hesitation. “It’s fine. It’s cool. It’s going to be fun.” Emma’s eyebrows lifted higher on her forehead with every word she spoke, revealing her doubt. “Are you trying to convince yourself or me?” Regan considered it for a second before she shrugged. “Both?”

“It’s EditorialEmma,” she said, deliberately averting her stare as she shut the door behind her. “What is?” “My book-reviewing name,” she explained, breathing through the weird feeling in the pit of her stomach at being vulnerable. But Regan was doing her a favor, and Emma liked to replay favors to make sure everything was even.

Ahhhhh

I’ll be the best buffer you’ve ever seen. When we go in there, we’re a team,” she promised. She didn’t hesitate as she offered Emma her hand. “Thom and Geri?”

“Not all the way off,” Regan attempted to reason. “I just had to open it to ensure she didn’t get burned!” “Liquid burns are no joke,” Ted added with a firm nod. Emma couldn’t help the incredulous laugh that left her throat. “Oh my god!”

“Emma, what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn’t buy your books?” Regan’s gaze dropped to the books in question, her eyes widening. “Wow. I leave you alone to go to the café, and you amassed half an aisle.”

Second and secondmost, if my memory serves, I was there for you on the worst night of your life and then played an integral part in you winning back the love of your life… I feel like that kind of warrants us being text pals on occasion

Stumped, Regan crossed her arms over her waist, sighing to herself. “Should I pretend that you didn’t just blatantly check me out?” Charlotte asked incredulously. Regan met her incredulous level. “Only to check and see if I was attracted to you!” “That is generally why someone checks out another person, yes.”

“I’m also not attracted to men in the slightest, so that may have facilitated my discovery. If you are attracted to men, it makes sense that it might have taken you longer. That’s a very normal thing,” Charlotte informed her, her voice softening.

“Sexuality is fluid; it’s a scale. You are – bafflingly – attracted to men. Maybe your sexuality scale is ninety percent men, ten percent women, or an even smaller percentage. It’s not one-size-fits-all. Some women don’t even realize they are full-fledged lesbians until they’re decades older than you are.”

Regan blew out a breath, slumping down on the couch even more as she stared blankly ahead. “God, this sapphic shit is exhausting.”

“This is my life, not theirs. And I’m going to live it for me. So… yeah. I’m managing a coffee shop and don’t have glamorous plans or huge ambitions. But I like my life.”

“You think Sutton wouldn’t notice that something major is going on with you, from even across the ocean?” Charlotte asked, dubiously. “I’m insulted on her behalf.”

and I can’t, because Emma is so freaking private, that she hasn’t come out to Sutton yet!” Again, though, it felt so insanely great to be able to say it all aloud! Even if she shouldn’t be. “The tangled webs we weave,” Charlotte muttered, toying with the bottom of her wine glass with her fingertips, obviously deep in thought.

“I think it speaks volumes about how highly you truly regard Emma,” Charlotte surmised, sounding utterly fascinated.

“No one’s ever said something like that to me. That you actually want me to be my whole self,” Regan admitted, softly. “Well… people are stupid. It’s why I don’t like them, generally.”

With a deep breath, Emma strode forward to the counter, and she had no idea what she was going to say, she just knew this was the time to say it. “My middle name is Avery.” Confusion flit over Regan’s face, even as a small, baffled smile tugged at her lips. “The way you’ve guarded that from me, I would have thought it was way more embarrassing.”

“I’m in love with you, Regan. To the point that I don’t even want to go home and take advantage of our empty apartment for the night. Because the thing I want to do the most when I have good news or even just when I leave work, is be with you.”

P.S. Please forgive me, Regan, when you read this. I know you’re probably beating yourself up about how wrong everything seemed to be going tonight. I’m sure you’re going to understand, though. P.P.S. You always take so much joy in saying that you get to be responsible for my finding love. I can’t tell you how thrilled I am that I get to take responsibility for your love story, too.

“I just… I don’t…” She trailed off, dragging her hands through her hair. “I’m overwhelmed and amazed, and confused.” “I’m asking you to marry me,” Emma clarified, biting her bottom lip as she lifted her hand up to show Regan the ring she was holding.

Regan shook her head, trying to wrap her mind around it. “But – but it’s your birthday weekend. I was going to propose to you!” “I kind of figured that,” Emma allowed, with a cute, small smile. “And I figured that I’d beat you to the punch, so what better way to do it than this? A complete and total surprise.” “I’ll freaking say!” Regan’s hands, braced on Emma’s shoulders, squeezed as she bounced on her tiptoes. “Did you have to do it by making me think I totally fucked up? Also, how did you do that?”

“And now, I get to say that amidst all of our firsts, I proposed to you first,” Emma whispered, sliding her hand up to cup Regan’s jaw. “It’s a pretty big one.”