A Very No Strings Halloween (Very Holiday, #4)

by Kayley Loring

“What big show?” He seems genuinely confused. “You mean in the elevator?”

I guess this is just how Billy rolls. Either that or he’s a 1950s mob boss. So, in the spirit of being a good date and showing him how it’s done—I roll with that. I let him order for me—something I’ve never let a guy do before, not even Trevor—and to my great relief, everything he orders for us is just great. From the appetizers and tonight’s special to the Chianti and dessert. If this is all an act, then he is an amazing actor.

I’m feeling all warm and nice and beautiful and attended to. And then I remember I’m supposed to be teaching this guy how to behave on a first date. That’s why we’re here. In all honesty, in my opinion, most guys could learn a thing or two from him. But as I watch him laugh and chat with the diners who’ve stopped by our table to pay their respects to him or something, I do have some advice for him.

“Yes, Sir William. As your tutor, I do have an observation to make, if I may.”

“Learning is an adventure. That’s the kind of fun I’m talking about. Learning what life can be. Learning who you are. Learning what your friends are made of. But

“I dunno. I know I’m a lot. But I think I got a lot to give someone. I just need that someone to believe I’ve got what it takes to be in a relationship enough for the both of us.”

“I think maybe you bring out the best in me, Red.”

Here one minute. Gone the next.

Most people think Boston is my native accent. It’s not. It’s Cocky. That’s my true native tongue. And that’s how I sound when I say it.

Donna smiles a smile she clearly can’t help, shaking her head because I’m so charming and surprising. My favorite kind of smile.

Oh, Donna. Poor Donna. Forced to wear panties and a tank top that’s now property of the Billy Boston Department of Erections.

“I do it because my job is stressful. And sad. And sometimes I just want to get off work and be someone else. Someone who doesn’t have to deal with all the things I deal with every day. While having orgasms. More bang for my buck. You know?”

I can’t just ask Donna out yet because it’ll scare her off. I have to trick Donna into thinking she’s still teaching me how to date someone else when really I’m treating her to dates with me. I’ll learn how to date her, and she’ll figure out eventually that it’s not that scary to be in a real relationship with me. Everybody wins.

I’ve been inside this woman so many times, but I never feel like I can get inside her head.

I’ve seen a lot of different versions of my neighbor. Most recently he’s been a plumber, a Mark Wahlberg, and a corrections officer. Some all-time favorite roles he’s played with me in private include, but are not limited to, New Orleans Vampire Billy, Grumpy English Professor Billy, and Brokenhearted Strip Club Client Billy. If I’m being honest, I also very much enjoyed First Date Billy.

He walks alongside her like he’s Secret Service and she’s a head of state. The head of the state of virginity, that is.

“I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.”