Fall at Once

by Nora Everly

“You’re a true gentleman. All a lady wants is a respectable fuck and someone to make her days better.” I made jokes whenever I was upset.

It would have been a shut-up ring if he proposed to you that night—like a ‘will you marry me and shut the fuck up about it’ kind of thing. He would have been one of those wedding reception cake-smashed-in-your-face guys, Madi. It wouldn’t have been holy matrimony; it would have been holy shit; what was I thinking? And you know it. You did the right thing by dumping his ass and running away. You dodged a huge bullet.”

I used to be like you—wearing cute clothes all the time, and cute undies too. But that was back when I thought getting laid was a possibility. Now I’m like, sweet, these come in a six-pack, and I get two more pairs for free. And I’m thinking these thoughts at Costco, Madi. I’m going to die alone. Just me and my jumbo-sized jar of cheese balls, sitting around in my granny panties, binge-watching Bridgerton on my couch. All alone. I’m done with love.”

“There is no place I’d rather be than here with you. Believe that. You deserve a man who will take care of you, respect you, and treat you like the amazing woman that you are. Not some dumb motherfucker who would try to humiliate you in a goddamn bar.”