In the weeks since Vermont, I’ve resigned myself to this—to wanting him the way I do, no matter the countless reasons I shouldn’t. By some miracle, I’m able to push them all to the recesses of my mind, allowing this uninhibited, forbidden desire to fill the space instead, but it doesn’t make them disappear entirely. I’m still completely aware of just how messy things have become by giving in to this attraction, and I can’t help but think it’ll only get worse if we continue down this path. It’s just not enough to make me wanna stop. If anything, it makes me want him more. For as long as I
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