Activist David Bedrick puts it quite clearly: “Much of the counsel is downright offensive, suggesting that if we can’t forgive, we are dwelling on the past, focusing on negative emotions, holding on to grudges, filled with retribution and revenge, addicted to adrenaline, marrying our victimhood, recoiling in self-protection rather than mercy, or poisoning ourselves with non-forgiveness.”20 How can these messages not reinforce our shame?
