Never Thought I'd End Up Here

by Ann Liang

I’ve spent the past two hours binge-watching a documentary about the career revival of a famous singer-songwriter. The last scene had been of her sobbing into a napkin in the darkness of her studio, while screenshots of absurdly mean comments floated around her like digital phantoms.

this is a bit of random tangent but ok

last time I signed up for an extracurricular, it was to serve lemonade at a charity event for iguanas.

hahaha kinda funny

“If by very well you mean that I have dreamed of murdering you,” I mutter. Cyrus’s gaze flits to my face. Lingers an extra beat. “So you’ve dreamed of me?”

TÍPICO XD (i’m not complaining

“We’ll have you moving on from her in no time,” he says with a wink. “Who said I wanted to?” Cyrus says flatly.

fuck i’m eating this shit up :’)

So I’ll make Cyrus lower his guard, make him think I’ve forgiven him at last, and when he finally wants me—wants, not loves, because there’s a chasm between those two things, one that I’ve never been able to cross with any boy—I’ll yank the rug out from under his feet.

crazy but i’m down to see how it goes >:D

Why would I ever like you, Cyrus? You ruined my life, remember? And I’ll cite his long list of crimes,

this is so petty i luv it HAHA

“Or fresh daisies—” “Allergic.” My mouth drops open. “To flowers? Seriously? But they’re, like, the symbol of romance.” “Which allergies are famously known to care about.”

lmao he’s such a hater i luv it

Cyrus frowns, as if I’m asking a trick question. “Why wouldn’t she have liked you?” A pause. “Why wouldn’t everyone like you?” Maybe because I have nothing of value to offer? Because I care too much about my appearance, and I overthink everything, and I can be annoying and dumb and indecisive, and I don’t have the slightest clue what I’m doing with my life? Because I have no personality outside of my flaws?

hits close to home TwT

“Of course it makes sense, qin ai de,”

ugh TwT

“It means my worst enemy,”

uh huh TwT

ask in a breathy voice I’m pretty sure I borrowed from a fantasy video game about sexy elves,

huh lmao

but it’s perfect for my target audience.

gooners

“Fine, how about this,” I say. “I’ll do all the charming, and you help translate a few compliments and carry the vegetables. Happy?” “Never,” he says. “Great.”

he’s such a haterrrrrr i luv it hahahaha >:D

A gorgeous celebrity grins down at customers from a massive banner, holding up a new shade of lipstick like he’s proposing with it, his name scribbled at the bottom: Caz Song.

YOO easter egg alert

Ignore Cyrus, don’t trust him, don’t let yourself laugh at his remarks.

sigh ik what it feels like to think like this

“What will the rest of us get for lunch?” Oliver calls out over the rain. “Granola bars,”

lol?

“Did you tell them?” I whisper.

bruh OwO (also i feel like this is an unnecessary source of conflict CAN WE MOVE OOOOOONNNNN

“Of course I didn’t,” he says quickly. “You know I wouldn’t.” Do I really?

no

What if Cyrus isn’t any different?

y is the story even going in this direction

What if his kindness was a ploy all along, his tenderness something I’d made up inside my head just because I wanted him?

trust issues girly core

one piece

the one piece is reaaaaal

“Why should I trust you?” I demand.

bruh

fantasizing about a grand love story with the boy who’s already proven himself capable of destroying my life.

we’re still hung up on this???

I am a terrible person, a fake, a sellout, a slut, someone complicit in the fetishization of their culture.

is it that deep? OwO

I’m walking so fast that I almost don’t notice the cow crossing the road.

huh

“Not Cyrus?”

is this bitch fr HAHAHAH

if I had the honor.

bros a bit too much of a simp idk if i like hahaha

“I’m honestly shocked that you came back. Shocked, and very, very glad.

let’s be real, where else would she go like ofc she coming back

“Who else is going to haggle over lettuce for me?”

i was expecting an overly cheesy answer but this is good

“You know, I’ve had fantasies about this,” he murmurs.

says every booktok bf ever (idk if id like to hear this myself hahahah

could love him anywhere, in any city, any season,

bro was literally having trust issues abt him like 20 pages ago OwO

“I barely remember seeing you wear that.” “I—definitely—did,”

kinda real

Wait. I just remembered I have a boyfriend,”

when did he even ask her TwT

“I mean, you can’t expect me to offer you my life’s savings in exchange for zipping up a suitcase. Unless you have something else in mind.”

whats with this banter TwT

“Leah and Cyrus,”

uh huh

“Doesn’t matter,” he tells me, “as long as I’m going with you.”

uh huh…..