Pushin' Cushions

by Vera Valentine

FINFUCKERS apparently led to Finance Bro porn, rather than his favorite human-dolphin content creator, FINFUCKERZ.

I cannot fathom why I read these books.

Dennis was…different.

Dennis isn't like other girls...

He hated cats with every fiber of his being, almost as much as he hated the childless women that took them in. Vile, unnatural creatures, the both of them, subverting American values.

Coming from the man who is watching dolphin 'adult films'

Just filthy pleather, filthier fantasies, and pumping endless amounts of cum into the surprisingly absorbent core of his dorm’s communal seating.

Seek help.

The doppelganger ran a hand through his perfect, expensive haircut, gave Dennis a mocking salute, and strolled to the door of the study, whistling happily.

This took a TURN

Knitted larger-than-life across the tasseled front was an artistic rendering of the late Ruth Bader Ginsberg, the words “Notorious R.B.G.” in large letters under her lacy robe collar.

HELL YEAH

not an absolutely devastated former vice presidential candidate stuck in a cursed, sexless couch, destined to be edged for eternity.

Very normal