Pushin' Cushions

by Vera Valentine

his dick deflating like a punctured balloon.

Is it possible to die from laughter?

He hated cats with every fiber of his being, almost as much as he hated the childless women that took them in.

Dennis knew to the marrow of his bones what was to blame for his college-long dry spell: feminism. Clearly. And so, he turned to other, more innovative means of carnal satisfaction.

Ah, an Incel. Makes perfect sense.

all I wanted was to be taken, to be truly claimed by a virile man like you.”

🤢🤮

You want this big cock stretching that virgin seam?

She laughed, plunking down on Dennis and patting the cushion beside her like he was a harmless little puppy, and not an absolutely devastated former vice presidential candidate stuck in a cursed, sexless couch, destined to be edged for eternity.