Pushin' Cushions

by Vera Valentine

For legal reasons, the authors are clearly stating that there is no hard evidence that any Republican vice presidential candidate has ever had or desired sexual relations with furniture or oceanic mammals.

There are also references to dolphin attraction and associated content (non-explicit, no acts are described), drinking liquor, finance bro 0nlyFans, hatred of cats, hatred of childless women that adopt said cats, s*xual penetration of furniture (flashback and present), divorce, dubc*n, dirty-talking (to a couch), slut-shaming (the same couch), light BDSM (couch spanking), technical furniture v0re/consuming (no death involved), identity theft, campaign finance fraud, misogyny, wet socks, situation-based momentary snowballing, humiliation play.

Trigger warnings 😂😂

Privately, in the isolation of his own study, he could admit to himself he didn’t even like the man he was running with. But hell, when an opportunity like this knocked, you learned to swallow down your pride, your dignity, your morals, and whatever else that aforementioned spilled whiskey could lubricate.

He hated cats with every fiber of his being, almost as much as he hated the childless women that took them in. Vile, unnatural creatures, the both of them, subverting American values.

Shhh…just let it happen, Dennis. You gave me everything I needed to become you, and now that I’ve taken your load, it’s time to take your life, too.