Pushin' Cushions

by Vera Valentine

light BDSM (couch spanking),

But the blustering political shitstorm that was Trent Donaldson wasn’t known for respecting boundaries. Or people, really.

Settling back into the soft, cool embrace of the cushions, his fingers trailed lightly over the closed lid of the computer as he mentally pushed away thoughts of the election. In a way, this escape was his foreplay.

FINFUCKERS apparently led to Finance Bro porn, rather than his favorite human-dolphin content creator, FINFUCKERZ. The Z made all the difference.

He hated cats with every fiber of his being, almost as much as he hated the childless women that took them in. Vile, unnatural creatures, the both of them, subverting American values.

Though he once tried his weirdest roommate’s go-to, a lightly-microwaved cantaloupe with a convenient burrowed hole, it just didn’t do the trick.

It wasn’t until college-aged Dennis was searching for his dropped cell phone one night that he realized his feelings for furniture might be less than platonic.

A time when he didn’t have to bend to the whims of a narcissistic madman or an overbearing ex-wife gunning for alimony. Just filthy pleather, filthier fantasies, and pumping endless amounts of cum into the surprisingly absorbent core of his dorm’s communal seating.

Dennis was a man now, with a man’s couch to fuck, and by God was he going to.

Oh yeah, this couch wanted to be bred.

Dennis hadn’t meant to cuckold his couch,

you double-stitched slut?

And on that note, suffice it to say there’s a bunch of complicated curses and magic involved, but in a nutshell, someone will need to fuck you as a couch in order for you to ever take human form again. Theirs, of course.”