Pushin' Cushions

by Vera Valentine

This story was created from 100% human ingenuity (and probably more than a little mental illness)

For legal reasons, the authors are clearly stating that there is no hard evidence that any Republican vice presidential candidate has ever had or desired sexual relations with furniture or oceanic mammals.

Content notes: This story contains a Republican,

Trent, his running mate, had been sending him so many misspelled, exclamation point-littered texts that he had silenced his damn cell phone hours ago.