Catch-22

by Joseph Heller

Colonel Korn was the lawyer, and if Colonel Korn assured him that fraud, extortion, currency manipulation, embezzlement, income tax evasion and black-market speculations were legal, Colonel Cathcart was in no position to disagree with him.

“Bribery is against the law, and you know it. But it’s not against the law to make a profit, is it? So it can’t be against the law for me to bribe someone in order to make a fair profit, can it? No, of course not!”

“Just pass the work I assign you along to somebody else and trust to luck. We call that delegation of responsibility.

“No, it must be very pleasant to be free from all this doubt and pressure,” insisted Major Danby. “I think I’d like to live like a vegetable and make no important decisions.” “What kind of vegetable, Danby?” “A cucumber or a carrot.” “What kind of cucumber? A good one or a bad one?” “Oh, a good one, of course.” “They’d cut you off in your prime and slice you up for a salad.”

For once in your life, succeed at something.”