Catch-22

by Joseph Heller

Yossarian, who decided right then and there to go crazy. “You’re wasting your time,” Doc Daneeka was forced to tell him. “Can’t you ground someone who’s crazy?” “Oh, sure. I have to. There’s a rule saying I have to ground anyone who’s crazy.” “Then why don’t you ground me? I’m crazy. Ask Clevinger.” “Clevinger? Where is Clevinger? You find Clevinger and I’ll ask him.” “Then ask any of the others. They’ll tell you how crazy I am.” “They’re crazy.” “Then why don’t you ground them?” “Why don’t they ask me to ground them?” “Because they’re crazy, that’s why.” “Of course they’re crazy,” Doc Daneeka replied. “I just told you they’re crazy, didn’t I? And you can’t let crazy people decide whether you’re crazy or not, can you?” Yossarian looked at him soberly and tried another approach. “Is Orr crazy?” “He sure is,” Doc Daneeka said. “Can you ground him?” “I sure can. But first he has to ask me to. That’s part of the rule.” “Then why doesn’t he ask you to?” “Because he’s crazy,” Doc Daneeka said. “He has to be crazy to keep flying combat missions after all the close calls he’s had. Sure, I can ground Orr. But first he has to ask me to.” “That’s all he has to do to be grounded?” “That’s all. Let him ask me.” “And then you can ground him?” Yossarian asked. “No. Then I can’t ground him.”

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