Off Camera (Love Through a Lens, #3)

by Chelsea Curto

No, I don’t know, but the only way I can get out of this excruciating conversation that’s lightyears worse than a lobotomy is to grin and bear it.

“You’re beautiful,” Reid murmurs, and I tuck it away close to my chest. “Sometimes I still can’t believe I get to have you like this.” “In another part of your stadium?” I ask, my lips moving to his neck. I kiss below his ear. Above his collarbone, and I smile when he tips his head back and groans. “It’s becoming a trend, I’ve noticed.” “No.” The single word shakes. Turns fraught and hesitant, like he’s afraid to admit this next part out loud. “Like you’re mine.”

I want him to take over my heart and my mind, and when our gazes meet, I swear there are stars behind his eyes.

“Thank you for telling me,” I say. She tilts her chin and kisses me, a soft press of her lips that has me wanting more. “For trusting me enough to share.” “I’ve never trusted anyone like I trust you, Reid.”

The same sensation I felt the other night when he wrapped his arms around me and held me tight settles in me again. I felt it during the game too, when he went after Andrew. It’s the recognition that, yes, this is physical. Yes, we fuck anywhere and everywhere. But there’s something else lingering under the surface. A deeper connection neither of us have explored. It would be easy for him to brush aside my problems. Deem them not his problem and walk away. He’s not, though. He’s offering me a hand. Figuring out how he can carry some of the load, and no one has ever done that for me before.

“Thank you for being here. For being there for me at the game on Sunday. For…” I trail off, the words difficult to find. “Thank you for pausing the feud so you could be on my side.” “Ah.” He pushes his glasses up his nose. “We never paused the feud. Competition or not, I meant every word.” “You did?” I ask, and my heart thumps in my chest like a metronome. “You never take up too much space, Ave. Not with me,” he says. “I think I’d like you to take up more of it.”

“No one flirts with me,” I say, and she laughs. “What?” “That girl three tables behind you won’t stop looking over here. And don’t get me started on the one by the bathrooms.” “Sounds like you might be jealous, Sinclair.” I reach a hand up and brush my fingers down her cheek. “But you don’t have to worry about them. I’m only looking at you. I have been for a while now.” Avery’s eyes soften, and I feel her smile in the center of my chest. “I’m only looking at you too, Reid.”

“You reach for your phone in the night.” “I didn’t know you saw me do that.” “I didn’t see it. I felt it. You were holding me, then you weren’t.” I pause and swallow down the lump in my throat. Tears stain my cheeks, and this time, I let them fall. I’m so mad. So frustrated this is happening to me and so tired at the same time. “I always know when you’re not touching me.”

There’s the slam of a car door and the jingle of keys. I blink, and the next thing I know, Reid is there, fifteen feet away from me, then ten, then five, and I burst into tears. I leap to my feet and crash into him. “You came,” I whisper around a sob. “You called,”

“Is it okay if I nap for a little bit?” she asks around a yawn. “Yeah.” I nod even though she can’t see me. “I’ll be here when you wake up.” I’m still looking at her long after she falls asleep, and I think I’d like to find a way to keep her here for more than a year. I want to find a way to keep her here forever.

“Avery.” His voice trembles when he cuts me off, and he blinks back tears. “How did you remember?” “Oh. Um, you mentioned it the first time I came to your apartment. Before the smoke alarm went off,” I say. “You lit up when you told me about it, but you shrugged it off like it was no big deal. Like you were embarrassed to show me your excitement. I could tell it was important to you, though. I told myself I was going to find a way to get you that set if it was the last thing I did. Everyone deserves things that make us happy, Reid, and I like to see you happy.”

Because I like you more than I should. Because I’m breaking our rules, Reid. Because I think I might be falling in love with you, and it’s terrifying.

“How—” I turn the book on its side, examining the stenciled letters embossed on the spine. “I haven’t told you how much I like this book. How much I love this book.” “Not directly, no. I’ve had to do some deductive reasoning and study my spreadsheets,” he says. “And what did you find?” “Lots of evidence that supports my hypothesis. Your copy has been on your nightstand for months. Other books have come and gone, but this one is always there—and that doesn’t include the two other versions you have on your bookshelf. When I asked for book club recommendations, this was your suggestion. Last year, when it was announced a production company was turning the book into a movie, you shared the post to the Thunderhawks’ Instagram story for two minutes before realizing you weren’t on your personal account.” “Last year? But that was before we even⁠—” “I know.” He blushes and stares at the floor. “I can’t get you out of my head, Avery, and I guess you could say I’ve been paying attention to you for a while now.”

After we eat, I have one more surprise for you,” he says. “You’ve already done more than enough for me.” “This is different. I know how important your dad was to you. I also know it’s not Christmas Day, and I know you’re not there in person to watch like you normally would, but I wanted to include a part of him today. I, uh, might have downloaded last year’s Orlando Blazers game so we can stream it later. It might be in a different language and it might ruin Dallas’s television, but I thought we could give it a try.” “Y—you did that? For me?” I whisper. “Yeah.” Reid smiles. “There’s no rule saying we can’t do both old and new traditions.” A sob racks my shoulders. I throw my arms around him and hug him as tight as I can, afraid that if I ease up for even a second, he’ll disappear. I’ve been scared to admit it, but now I know with absolute certainty. If I let myself fall, Reid is the one I’m going to fall for. I think I’m already halfway there.

I wanted to hug her and not let her go. I wanted to tell her how much she means to me and how special she is. I needed to let her know her attention to detail is one of my favorite things about her.

I want, and I want, and I want so many things with her, and I don’t know how to ask for them.

“After I left the bar the night we met, I ordered a copy of Watchmen. I read it front to back then I read it again. All because the cute guy who blushed when I complimented him said it was his favorite,”

Mine. I want her to be mine. Totally and completely, in every sense of the word. I want to put a ring on her finger and maybe have a couple kids. I want to grow old with her and sit on a porch, talking about all the good things we’ve done together. I want to argue and fight with her and let her push me out of my comfort zone. I want to love her, and I want her to love me back.

“You’re mine,” I tell her, letting the words slip free and she smiles. “Today. Tomorrow. For as long as you’ll have me.” “Yours,”

This man is here taking care of me and getting nothing in return. This man is reading my romance book and ordering food so I’m fed. This man brought me a heating pad, for fuck’s sake. I should be on one knee asking him to marry me. My breath comes out in short bursts the longer I stare at the hook of his nose. My chest hurts when I see his smile stretch wider. It feels like a knot in me is pulling tight, some string I can’t see tugging and tugging to the point of uncomfortable. It’s time for me to acknowledge the thing I’ve been trying so hard to fight. I like him. I like him so much. I’d give him my heart if he asked. I’d promise to treasure his in return, if he let me. I think I might be a little in love with him too.

I’m falling for this man, and from the way my heart beats when he doesn’t let go, I know I’m tumbling head first.

“Sometimes I can’t believe I get to be here with you,” he tells me, and it’s the softest he’s ever spoken. “It’s overwhelming, honestly. I look at you and…” he trails off, the words difficult to find, but I’m hanging on to every syllable he gives me. “I can’t believe I get to exist within a four-foot radius of you. You’re made of dreams, Avery, and I’m the guy lucky enough for even a few minutes of your time.”

“I like you,” I blurt out, and he gapes at me. “A lot. In a more than friends way. In a more than friends with benefits kind of way. I have feelings for you, and I can’t let you sleep next to me thinking this is purely platonic for me. It’s not. It hasn’t been for a while, I don’t think, but tonight solidified it. I’m so happy when you’re around, Reid. I… I miss you when you’re gone. I check my phone constantly to see if you’ve sent me a message. The time I get to spend with you is the best part of my day.”

“Five months ago, I hated you. I would’ve done anything to bring you down. Now I’m wondering how I lived so long without you.” “You’ve always had me,” I say. I reach up and cup his cheek, my thumb running over the rough scratch of his beard. “In a way, I’ve always been yours.” I might love you. I think I’ve been waiting for you for a very long time. The thoughts ping-pong around in my brain. They cement themselves with certainty, a lightning strike in an open field. One second ago, it wasn’t there. Now, it’s all I hear. I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you. When he kisses me soft and sweet, murmuring kind words until I drift back to sleep, I know there’s a chance he might love me too.

Up the road, I see Reid leaning against his car, and I stop in the middle of the sidewalk. He’s looking at the night sky, his head tipped back and his eyes cast upward. He’s unaware I’m here, unaware I’m staring at him with my jaw almost on the ground, and I soak up the sight of him. The tuxedo he’s wearing is familiar, and I realize it’s the same one he wore the night of the wedding. His bowtie is purple, and he’s holding a bouquet of sunflowers close to his chest. A smile—the faintest hint of a grin—sits on the corners of his mouth, and I want to kiss it off his face.

Hating you felt a lot like⁠—” The rest of the sentence hangs between us, heavy and unsaid. Loving you. “And what do you think about me now?” I ask. “I couldn’t hate you if I tried.” He rubs my arm and his smile is full of hope. “I took you to that shitty sports bar, Avery, because I… I don’t want you to go on dates with anyone else. I don’t want you to give your attention to anyone else. I’ve never, ever taken anything for myself, but with you, I want to. I’m greedy. I want more, and I’m going to keep being greedy for as long as you’ll let me.” “You don’t have to be greedy,” I say, and he hangs on to my every word. “I’m giving you all that I have. Willingly. I want you to have it. I want you to have all of it.”

I wake up the morning of our playoff game against the Thunderhawks and the end of our bet with Avery wrapped around me. Her hair is in my mouth. Her hands are on my waist. Her face is buried in my chest and I’ve never loved her more. My eyes fly open. Love. Fuck, I love her. This isn’t a crush that’s going to go away in a few weeks. This isn’t something I can expect to fade away when the football season ends. It’s an all-in thing. It’s big and important, and I can’t ignore it anymore.

“Promise you’ll still like me after all of it?” Avery asks, her lips falling into a cute little pout. “Even if you lose?” “At the end of the day, I still have you. That’s not losing.”

She laughs into my shoulder, and I fucking love that sound. I’d do anything to hear it again.

“It’s cute you think I’m going to be able to manage any productivity on the sidelines while I’m scrolling all the way back to our first interaction,” he says. “I have a screenshot,” I blurt out, and Reid lifts an eyebrow. “I took a screenshot of the first time we interacted. I was afraid I was being too mean to you, but then you matched my energy and…” I bite back a smile. “Shit. We were inevitable all along, weren’t we?” “Yeah.” He kisses me, and the fans watching us whistle and cat call. “I think we were.”

“I love you,” I whisper so only he can hear me. “I think I’m going to love you forever.” Reid grins, a smile matching mine. The adoration in his eyes makes me weak in the knees. “Wanna bet?” I grip the collar of his shirt and knock his hat off his head. “You’re on.”

I never think it’s possible to have any space left to love him more, but then another day happens, and I do.

I look up at him over his shoulder, and he’s already looking at me. Pink cheeks, a grin that matches mine. A tiny hickey under his ear from where I kissed him too aggressively last night. The sun framing his face and a halo around his bright red hair. Mine.