Can't Be Broken

by Mel Dau

“As quiet as it’s kept, the only reason that Happy hired you was because I told her to so that she could keep an eye on you and Teddy for me. Who knew that you would be a beauty protégé and shit.

“While you’re trying to call me out, bitch! Why didn’t you tell me that Riker was poke-a-hole-in-a-condom fine?”

“Fiona, that man came in here with a tailored three-piece suit on, smelling like Lucifer’s cum. I just know the devil’s cum is sweet.”

Whew, Fancy, we’re going to have to go in the office and come to an agreement. You can’t be sweating out cum secretions today. If you are good today, I promise I’ll tickle you tonight.

“First, Fancy is a fucking lady. She doesn’t spit; she expectorates.” I scoffed at her for the disrespect shown to Fancy. “I was calling you to tell you that Mr. Riker has requested that I personally render all services that apply to him.”

“You don’t have to give me a reason to want alone time with me. Trust me, I’ll give you all the alone time that you ask for, love. Tell me what you want, and it’s yours.”

See, I was the type of nigga that didn’t have screws loose. God just saw fit to not even give me those muthafuckas. I haven’t really had to pop out my unhinged side in a while. I honestly didn’t think that I would have to when it came to a female. Something about Whimsy Taylor already told me that I would be out here sticking niggas with cyanide needles if I found out that she was out here frolicking.

“Girl, that’s exactly how me and Croy started going together. Nigga walked up to me in our human anatomy class, sat down, then said, ‘we go together.’ I thought his ass was crazy. You see where we are now.”

She was in her fucking bag right now, and I was about to cut the bottom out of that ho.

“Well, Mega said that sometimes we have to assist people in not sinning. After we prayed together, I went to Target to get more suitable items. Love, I just want to keep you as close to the Lord as I can while you’re in Jamaica.”