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It’s been eight months and six days since I got out of rehab for the seventh time, and I’m finally feeling really good about my sobriety.
By the time I get halfway through the iced drink, I remember every fucking reason why I’m an addict. What a Sunday.
Dresses goth, but he’s got platinum blond hair that’s slightly tinted a pale blue, his septum is pierced, and his face is scowling. Bright and dark together, and moody about something, it would seem. He looks like that Lucky Blue model I creep on sometimes, but more rockstar-esque. Edgy and tough, but a bit awkward and unreadable.
I’m not an easy friend to have, which is why the only one I have is deaf and chooses not to read my lips most of the time.
And a recovering addict. A sex addict. My dad’s sponsee. My neighbour. My new friend. And you look incredible in sunset orange.
“A neurotic rambler and a neurodivergent recovering addict walk into friendship…”
Gage Rossum is my soulmate. I just need to be patient until he figures it out.
Told you I’m an old-fashioned kind of romantic. Turns out I’m the werewolf and fae type of romantic. Soulmates exist, and I found mine.
“It’s my old soul.” I smile at him. “That was created for the single purpose of belonging to Gage’s soul. And vice versa.” He smiles, eye-rolls, laughs, and nods all at once. “He’s the one, eh?” “Just need him to figure it out.”
Because I understand addiction now. All my years of trying to get to the bottom of chasing a high and getting caught in a loop of ups and downs are making sense. I’d chase this feeling forever. The feeling that brings my blood to life and opens new parts of my brain. An effervescent moment of clairvoyance like I’m not actually supposed to have this super ability to feel things this ferociously. Everything before this touch felt good. Everything after it will pale in comparison. I’ll try to find it again forever.
“I know we’re doing everything backwards, but I’m trying not to fall in love with you so soon.” Instead of being spooked, Gage laughs. “Don’t try too hard.” He smirks.
“I’m thinking about having sex with your son!” I blurt, immediately sinking behind the hoist of Nathan’s shop. “Don’t kill me!”
“My monogamous, neurotic, slow-moving boyfriend. I like it. I believe in monogamy, too.”
“You can try to avoid coming all you want, Alexei. The end result will still be the same.”
Is it weird that I didn’t want to borrow a toothbrush because I didn’t want to scrub Alexei’s taste from my mouth? Yeah. Yeah, that’s probably weird. Nothing sexy about stale cum, but… everything about Alexei is sexy.
I like people who are unapologetically themselves, and Alexei has that in spades.
“Come with me so I don’t get selfish.”
“You’re something else, you know that?” “Something else like what?” “Just magic or something. This is magic. Us.” Because we’re soulmates. “I know.” I smirk at him.
“Can our first kiss come with snot and a lot of drool?”
I love him for understanding. I love myself for picking such an incredible partner.
‘Soulmate Blend.’
“Thanks for everything. All of it. Being my weird friend and then my slow-moving boyfriend. Now my soulmate. Just, thanks, for meeting me.”
it feels like such a monumental gift to actually know him.
God, it feels good not to be so selfish anymore.
the sight of my cock thrusting in and out of his tight ass is more than my mental state can bear.
“I’m a sixty-second man, but at least I didn’t get selfish, right?”
I’m starting to trust myself. Fuck, that feels good.
He’s here, alive and well, hugging me. It might be one of the happiest ten seconds of my life.
Something more comfortable than warmth fills me, but so do nerves. Because we’re gonna live life together! We’re gonna make mistakes and fight and have awesome times that lead to even better times. We’re going to have to figure out what to eat forever! Every meal! For-ev-er. My god, it’s going to be horrifying! And I can’t wait.
“Think I fell for ya when you asked me what I was addicted to.” I grin against his mouth. “What are you addicted to, Gage?” “Mm, my sober dope.”
I wrote down my favourite thing you said every single day since I met you. Even the days you just texted
“Probably has something to do with my soul knowing your soul, and even before I helplessly fell in love with you, it knew I needed to remember all the little things. Because I’ve never remembered the little things before.”
“The phrase is ‘falling hopelessly in love’ not ‘helplessly fell in love,’ Gage.” “Nah, I like my way better. Because as soon as I met you, I was fucking helpless, Alexei. Thank you for being my soulmate.”
“I loved you when I was a kid. I hated you, but I always loved you. I loved you when I was a teen and you barely knew me. I loved you when you went to rehab, and I loved you when you got out. I loved you so much that I chose to move to Port Baylon with you even though I was a legal adult and could have gone out on my own. I’ve always loved you because you’re my dad.”
“I love you more now. Not because you’re my dad, but because you are my dad.”
I know the term is reserved for them, but Alexei is my sober dope, too.
