Break my Heart (Western Wildcats Hockey, #6)

by Jennifer Sucevic

Who the hell is that girl? I rack my brain, trying to place her, but I’m certain I’d remember someone like her. With her golden blonde hair, piercing blue eyes, and a petite, toned frame, she’s not easily forgotten.

“This is my daughter, Ava.” I blink. Well, damn. “You’re Coach’s daughter?” I ask, totally thrown off my game. “Yup,” she replies, not bothering to elaborate. “Yes, she is,” Coach says, in that tone that clearly means back the fuck off and pretend you never met her.

Unable to help myself, I flick one more glance at the cool blonde. “I’m sure we’ll see each other around.” Her lips twitch in what could possibly be a smirk. “Let’s hope not.”

If I’d had my way, I would’ve walked away from skating for good. But I just couldn’t do it. The ice is the only place that makes sense.

The thing I love the most is also the thing that inflicted the most damage.

What I don’t say is that dating is the last thing on my mind. That I’m too screwed-up to even think about being with someone right now. It’s not something I felt comfortable explaining to my therapist. How can I tell anyone that I’m still messed-up, that I haven’t been able to find anything that feels good, or that the guys I’ve been with couldn’t give me what I needed? What I secretly craved.

Ava. The girl I haven’t been able to stop thinking about since our memorable encounter in the locker room. As if she can feel the heat of my stare, she glances up from her phone. Her eyes narrow as soon as our gazes collide. The smile I flash is met with a scowl before she dismisses me and continues on her way.

Contentment floods through me. In this moment, I feel lighter, like I’ve finally found the missing piece of myself. That fragile peace is shattered as slow clapping echoes through the rink. My eyes snap open, and ice floods my veins. For a terrifying second, I think it’s him. That he’s found me.

The others—Fallyn, Juliette, Carina, Stella, Viola, and Willow—are scattered around, all engaged in various conversations. It’s noisy with the music blasting through the loudspeakers, hyping fans up for the game. I try to focus on anyone other than Hayes Van Doren, but my gaze is reluctantly drawn to him.

Finally, the coaching staff is introduced, and I whistle, cheering for my dad. He’s always been my rock, and as complicated as life has become, I realize how lucky I am to have parents who love me unconditionally. They’ve supported me through everything—even when I made the impossible choice to walk away from professional skating.

The fastest way to get benched would be to screw around with Ava. Besides, she’s made it clear that she’s not interested. If I were smart, I’d let it go. And yet… I can’t stop thinking about her.

It’s perfect. At least for a moment. That moment where everything falls away, and it’s just me, the ice, and the sound of my breath. I miss that feeling. The rush. The power.

“I’ve heard that before, Tink.” “Why do you keep calling me that?” He cocks his head. “Because the way you skate is pretty fucking magical. Almost like you’re flying. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Ava. Her blonde ponytail swings behind her, catching the light as she skates across the rink. Every time I’ve watched her on the ice, her hair has been pulled tight into a bun. Seeing the golden length flowing down her back has my mind going places it probably shouldn’t. I can’t help but wonder what it’d be like to wrap it around my fist and feel it in my hands while⁠—

Every couple of minutes, my attention gets snagged by her. And when she drops the prickly demeanor and smiles at the kids? It’s like a punch to the gut that leaves me feeling even more off-kilter than before. That’s when I realize that whatever this is won’t just fade away.

“Do you play hockey?” The question takes me by surprise. “Nope. I’m a figure skater.” A small stab of sadness twists inside my chest. That answer used to fill me with pride. Now, it’s a reminder of everything I’ve lost.

I get the feeling there’s more to the story than Ava is willing to tell me. What I’ve already discovered in the little time we’ve spent together is that she’s guarded. If I push too hard, attempting to dig for the truth, she’ll shut down, and I’ll lose the tiny bit of trust I’ve gained this afternoon.

Before I can react, he continues, “Because I feel something for you. And that’s not something I’ve experienced before, so I kind of want to figure out what this is.” His voice is steady, sincere, and somehow, that makes it difficult to deflect.

With a laugh, she shakes her head, as if she can’t quite figure me out. “I’m not sure what you’re after.” I keep my gaze locked on hers and my tone serious. “I’m after you, Ava.”

“Together?” “Yeah, that’s right.” The petite figure skater shakes her head. “We’re not together.” I slip my hand around hers and give her fingers a squeeze. “We’re definitely together.”

“But it’s never been about that for me. After Dad passed away, I knew hockey was my way to take care of my family. That’s what I focus on. The rest? It’s just noise.”

I shift on the hard plastic and stare at the pristine sheet of ice below. He’s right. It does look different from this vantage point. As if it’s miles and miles away. Maybe even a different life. Or someone else’s life.

“You don’t have to tell me,” he says softly. “I just... You’re so damn talented. Watching you makes me forget about everything else going on in my life, and I can finally breathe.”

For a moment, we just sit. The weight of unspoken words presses down on me as I stare at the untouched sheet of ice. The girl who used to glide across it with dreams in her eyes and hope filling her heart feels so far away now, buried beneath the heaviness of the past.

“I skated all day, every day. I had private tutors for academics, ballet classes, strength training, and cardio—you name it, I did it. It didn’t take long before I was winning competitions and moving up the ranks. Ever since I was a little girl, my goal had been to qualify for the Olympics.

By the end, I was a mess. Nervous, high-strung, depressed. It was almost a blessing when people found out about our relationship. Except that it was like a bomb went off, destroying everything I’d spent my life building. I was a scandal. The girl who had an affair with her coach.

“That’s why I stopped competing. After that, I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t hold my head up. I hated that everyone knew what happened and were judging me. The snide comments and whispers.” For a long moment, Hayes remains silent. His hand rises to cup my cheek as his thumb brushes away a tear I didn’t realize had fallen. “None of that was your fault. Do you hear me? He took advantage of you. Of your age and his position of power.”

I see Ava’s face again. Her eyes, wide and uncertain, the raw pain in her voice when she told me how it all went down with Nathan. How he’d crossed every line and shattered her trust. It makes me fucking sick to my stomach. I’d like nothing more than to find that asshole and make him pay for what he did to her.

Even though I’m conflicted about Ava and how to proceed with her, I can’t stop thoughts of her lithe body from rolling through my head. I want to stretch her out naked and lick every silky inch of her skin. I want to run my tongue over her pussy until she’s writhing beneath me and screaming out her orgasm. That image alone is almost enough to make me lose control.

I step inside the dark kitchen and stumble to a halt when I find Willow, Maverick McKinnon’s newly minted girlfriend. Our gazes catch as she tucks a stray lock of blonde hair behind her ear. We’ve known each other since elementary school. Her twin brother River and I played hockey on a lot of the same teams while growing up.

“I don’t know. The situation is complicated.” “Is it more complicated than sneaking around behind your twin’s back because you’ve been seeing the one guy he can’t stand?” I snort out a laugh as some of the tension filling my shoulders drains away. “Probably not. It’s more like she’s been through a lot in the past year or so, and I’m afraid of inflicting further damage.”

Fallyn’s sparkly engagement ring catches the light and nearly blinds me. It’s a gorgeous ring. Wolf did an amazing job picking it out. Her attention gets snagged by it for a second or two. “Sometimes I still can’t believe I’m married.” She flashes a smile at Britt. “You too.” Britt glances at the blingy rock on her own finger. “It’s gone by so quickly.”

I never should have entrusted Hayes Van Doren with my secrets. What if he tells his friends, and it spreads like wildfire across campus? That thought is enough to have nausea stirring in the pit of my belly.

It’s been days since we talked, and not hearing from him after everything I confessed hurts. I can’t do this. Not with everything else going on in my life.

It’s a surprise when his fingers slip beneath my chin, and he turns it until I have no other choice but to meet the steadiness of his gaze. “I like you, Tink. Maybe I haven’t done a good job of showing it, but I do.”

I want to bring her into my world and share the things with her that matter to me. I’m hoping it’ll help break down some of the walls she’s built around herself, the ones I understand so much better after what she confided.

As the game gets under way, I can feel my attention split between Ollie on the ice and Ava beside me. Kia has climbed onto Ava’s lap, and Theo is practically glued to her other side, asking a million questions. It’s moments like this—seeing her here with Kia, with my family—that make me realize how much I want her to be part of my life.

The drive back to campus is quiet, the kind of comfortable silence I don’t usually experience with girls. The radio hums softly in the background as I glance at Ava. The way she interacted with my mom and siblings tonight… it did something to me. Something I didn’t expect.

“Nope. I really hate when people stick their nose into my business. So I’m not going to be a hypocrite and do it to you.” Her honesty hits me, and before I can stop myself, I blurt, “I hope you realize I’m still going to be all up in your business because I want to know every damn thing about you.”

“Good,” he says, his voice low and soothing. “You might not have realized it, because I’ve been keeping this under wraps for a while, but I like you too. A lot.” His words send a rush of warmth through me. I didn’t expect him to be this honest or direct.

“Would you believe me if I told you that you’re the first girl I’ve ever wanted to get to know?” he murmurs, his thumb gently brushing against my skin. “I don’t care about easy. I don’t care how slow we need to go or what you think you can give me. I just want to be with you while we figure it out. Together.”

When his lips finally brush against mine, they’re softer than I imagined. The kiss is gentle at first, a tease, his tongue lightly brushing against my bottom lip. Heat sparks in my core, spreading like wildfire through my veins. His hands tighten on my waist, pulling me closer, and I melt into him as everything around us fades away.

Fuck. The way her mouth curves around the lid sends a wave of heat straight through me. I shift my weight, trying to focus on something other than how much I want this girl. I promised we’d take things slow.

There’s a small couch, a table, and a few pictures on the shelf. I pick one up and study it closer. It’s a black-and-white photo of her mid-spin, three or four feet above the ice, with her arms tightly pressed against her chest. She looks powerful. It’s a stark contrast to the vulnerability that lurks in her eyes.

She’s transformed in minutes. Black leggings, a fitted pink sweater that clings to her curves, and her blonde hair pulled up into a tight bun. The change is almost jarring, like a mask she wears to keep everyone at a distance. All I want to do is strip it away, layer by layer, until she lets me in completely.

When I return, Ava’s already gliding across the ice with that same effortless grace I caught a glimpse of in the photo. I can’t help but stop and soak in the sight of her. She’s poetry in motion—spinning, twisting, floating across the ice like she’s weightless.

I’ve only caught glimpses of her like this when I watched her from a distance. This isn’t the guarded, careful girl who looks at me with uncertainty. This is the real Ava. The one who comes alive on the ice. It pisses me off all over again that her former coach stole something so precious from her. That he tried to ruin this part of her life.

I skate a few laps around the perimeter while she practices jumps and spins in the center. My eyes stay locked on her, mesmerized by the way she moves. The determination etched into her face is sexy as hell, and it makes me want to pull her off the ice and show her exactly how I feel.

She transitions into a spin, pulling her leg up until the blade of her skate is over her head. The skill and flexibility it takes to execute that trick is mind-blowing. I move closer, drawn to her like a moth to a flame.

Before she has a chance to respond, I brush my lips across hers. It’s a gentle kiss, slow and teasing, but it’s enough to set every nerve ending on fire. Her palms settle on my chest before sliding upward until her arms tangle around my neck.