No Tomorrow (All the Tomorrows, #1)

by Carian Cole

“Sucks to be on a schedule, huh?” Evan asks. I sigh, but don’t move. “Yeah, it really does.” “So don’t go back to work. Spend the day how you want to. Go shopping. Go home and nap. Go for a long drive to nowhere. Sit here with me and people-watch.”

I’m shy, socially awkward, and look like I am perpetually stalked by a dark cloud.

For Piper, keeper of my heart, you’ll always be my ladybug. Don’t give up baby, I took a walk, but I didn’t run away.

“I do love you! You know I do. Why else would I keep trying with you? Who else would put up with this? The problem is you’re in love with getting high. You love drugs and alcohol more than you love me.”

Why isn’t my love for him enough? Why does he need to get high? How can he tell me that all he wants is for us to be together and then turn around and throw it all away for something as meaningless as drugs and alcohol? It makes zero sense to me.

I guess the choice for him is never between me or getting high—his choice is always to escape.

And he’s been doing drugs like it’s his job for years. He’s fine.”

I don’t know if it’s good or bad that I’ve been both his muse and his therapy. I suppose some might say that’s obsession and not real love. Some might say what we have is dependency and codependency. I wonder if it matters. Maybe all that really matters is that we make a difference in another’s person life in the way they need it.