I See You've Called in Dead

by John Kenney

To feel even a small part of this place. To have come here and thought, Perhaps I can make a go. To come to the realization that you didn’t, that your chances were running out, that time—something that once seemed to move so slowly—had sped up when you weren’t looking. That it was late in the game and you were losing big.

How many days do you experience something for the first time?

“Well. My grampa died. And we had a gerbil that died. And Lucy my sister. So. I just think Nope, nope, nope, nope when I saw their dead bodies because that’s not them. I have them in here.” He pointed to his head. “They’re all here. I talk to them all the time.” “You do?” “Course. My sister is always with me. Tim will always be with you.” I had trouble swallowing. He reached over, without looking, and I felt his little paw of a hand take mine. We sat, looking out at the street, waiting for life to continue, holding hands, holding on.